Jewish Journal


By Elliot Steingart

October 10, 2012 | 10:45 am

My Stomach

Every time I put something in my stomach is a roll of the dice. Most of the time it's craps. While I would usually take the odds on a #2, sometimes it's a simple pass, a gift of chance.... read on

  • Meet the Steingarts

    By Elliot Steingart

    September 27, 2012 | 10:44 am

    It's never easy meeting a boyfriend or girlfriend's parents. I introduced my girlfriend to my parents the weekend before Yom Kippur. I just couldn't wait for judgement day. I experienced anxiety before meeting her parents and that was just for dinner. Our day would start at 11am... read on

  • New Year Reminder

    By Elliot Steingart

    September 19, 2012 | 10:45 am

    Rosh Hashana is the only new year that I have to be reminded of. If my dental office can call me three days before my appointment I would expect Chabad's solicitation letter much earlier in the week. I only found out on Friday that Rosh Hashana would fall on Monday. It's hard... read on

  • Forward Engagements

    By Elliot Steingart

    September 12, 2012 | 10:23 am

    Relationships evolve over time. I recall when hope and change brought my girlfriend and me together. She was the new girl in my office. I promised hope when I offered to drive her to work without knowing I would inherit the disaster known as her driving.

    We've had enough... read on

  • Refund Request

    By Elliot Steingart

    September 6, 2012 | 9:35 am

    We don't often think about who pioneered the old adage that "The customer is always right." I imagine that far from making a simple request, this individual (probably Jewish) approached a manager about a situation that could have easily been resolved. The famous words, “Excuse me!... read on

  • Conventional Wisdom

    By Elliot Steingart

    August 29, 2012 | 11:23 am

    It’s good to hear opposing viewpoints. It’s part of the reason I’m in a relationship. My girlfriend told me the name of the Hebrew God is Yahweh. I’ve been Jewish for 27 years and I’ve never heard of Yahweh. It’s worth listening to the other side even if the other side believes in... read on

  • Scratch it Up

    By Elliot Steingart

    August 22, 2012 | 11:48 am

    Addiction is a scary thing. In ninth grade I was mentally addicted to cigarettes for almost a week. I couldn’t stop thinking about cigarettes until I smoked half a Parliament Light and gave the rest to someone else. I’m lucky that I’ve never been addicted to drugs, alcohol, or... read on

  • Last Will and Testament

    By Elliot Steingart

    August 15, 2012 | 11:44 am

    I need to clarify that I wrote last week’s blog as a joke. Yes, my girlfriend and I quarrel from time to time. We both like to get our own way and that sometimes creates tension. My girlfriend isn’t trying kill me because she clenched my pinkie at Albertsons.

    Then I read some of my... read on

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Elliot Steingart is a Los Angeles based comedian and writer who hosts a monthly comedy show, “Melgard Mondays” at Melgard Public House. Steingart has written jokes for...

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