Jewish Journal

Jewish Journal Holiday Party

By Elliot Steingart

December 20, 2012 | 11:39 am

Morry's Fireplace

My girlfriend complains I don’t teach her about Judaism but it’s not for a lack of trying.  During Chanukah I explained that the candle burned for eight nights.

“It was the oil, not... read on

  • Bonus Gift

    By Elliot Steingart

    December 14, 2012 | 10:40 am

    For Hanukkah I gave my girlfriend a bag of toiletries from TJ Maxx. From the moment I heard her say “You left the price tags on,” I knew I was in a heap of trouble.

    “It's a bonus gift,” began my cop out.

    “You didn't even take the time to wrap the gifts.” She sighed. “It's like... read on

  • Heroic Effort

    By Elliot Steingart

    December 5, 2012 | 10:42 am

    I'm amazed by stories of heroism. I caught a snippet on the local news about a three year old boy who saved his grandma's life by calling 911. “That little boy is a hero,” said ABC 7 General Assignment Reporter, Robert Holguin.

    Heroes sometimes save lives. Sometimes heroes do... read on

  • Picture With Drew

    By Elliot Steingart

    November 28, 2012 | 9:53 am

    I continued to scroll through Drew's Facebook until I found a picture of the two of us wearing our cap and gowns on college graduation day, like the freeze frame of Julian and Clay leaning against each other at the end of Less than Zero. This might have been the first picture we... read on

  • Pastor Problem

    By Elliot Steingart

    November 21, 2012 | 9:25 am

    On a quiet Sunday night my girlfriend hinted she had something important to tell me. “I'm not sure how to tell you this,” she began.

    “Tell me what?” I asked, somewhat concerned.

    “I want to become a pastor,” she said.

    Upon hearing the P-word, I spit as though my mouth was full... read on

  • “Voila”

    By Elliot Steingart

    November 14, 2012 | 11:10 am

    While on a date night with my girlfriend waiting for a drink at a hip Los Feliz restaurant I made the comment “I don't think I like restaurants.”

    “What?” she asked.

    It was one of those moments where I wasn't sure what I just said. It's not like I concocted this brilliant idea... read on

  • Girlfriend’s Nightstand

    By Elliot Steingart

    November 1, 2012 | 10:47 am

    Relationships are about compromise which is why I gave my girlfriend a night stand. She spends enough time at my place that she deserves an end table. While I accept her nightstand is hers to decorate, the chaos on her nightstand looks like it was caused by Sandy.

    My nightstand... read on

  • Young Dylan

    By Elliot Steingart

    October 24, 2012 | 10:25 am

    I take my role as an uncle seriously to the point that I never act serious around young Dylan, my baby niece.  At this point, Dylan probably does not know who I am which is even more reason to make an impression. Plus, aside from tweeting vulgarities and goofing with my girlfriend,... read on

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Elliot Steingart is a Los Angeles based comedian and writer who hosts a monthly comedy show, “Melgard Mondays” at Melgard Public House. Steingart has written jokes for...

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