June 27, 2011 | 3:37 pm
Posted by Sima Cohen
As a trainer, and one who is on top of the latest and greatest in Hollywood, I get asked almost every day without fail to provide insight on the newest, fastest, and best ways to lose weight. Really, what they want is for me to reach into my bag and pull out a bottle of magic pills. But I’m still working on them. So my answer to them is always the same: diets are for pussies!
Let’s talk some more about this. Any diet trend becomes a trend because it works to some degree; people lose weight doing it. But how many dieters are able to maintain the same weight loss after the dieting is over? None. And all of these diet trends are unhealthy and dangerous. Nobody wants to lose weight temporarily or kill themselves in the process.
I feel bad for the millions of you who have been tricked and misled by the latest home delivery or pre-packaged, processed, microwaveable diet plans that are being promoted by fat celebrities making a comeback. The highly processed microwaveable foods like the ones on both Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig and Healthy Choice diets are very high in sodium. Our body needs some sodium to function, of course. Sodium helps maintain the right balance of fluids in your body, helps transmit nerve impulses, and influences the contraction and relaxation of muscles. But the typical American diet contains more than twice the amount of sodium than is necessary for normal body functions, and 77% of that sodium comes from processed foods. Sodium attracts and holds water, which increases your blood volume. Increased blood volume makes your heart work harder to move more blood through your blood vessels, which increases your blood pressure. Get it?
High blood pressure or hypertension also equals digestive dysfunction, eye damage, bone loss and osteoporosis, heart and kidney failure, and diminished sex drive. Not that you care. So, a diet high in sodium is a dangerous one.
Plus, a diet comprised of frozen, processed foods is boring, tasteless, and totally unbalanced. These meals are also extremely high in sugar, additives, artificial ingredients, preservatives, and trans fat. Many people have reported heart palpitations, body swelling, and even hospitalization while on these frozen food diets, and I’m surprised there aren’t more cases of people eating their own fingers off an hour after the meal too, considering how low in fiber they are.
You’re smart. You work hard for the money you have and you used your brain to get it. A Nustrisystem Veggie Fajita meal contains maltodextrin, which is linked to weight gain! Sorry to disappoint you, but what you see is not what you get. The meal is also dehydrated, so the preparation method involves adding water before you put it in the microwave. Gross. By now, the thought alone of reheating and eating a frozen mess like that should induce vomiting, but that’s not all. It doesn’t include the tortilla! Ripped off again. So stop being a lazy shit! Go to the store, buy some fresh vegetables and beans, and make your own fajita. The money you will save by taking Jenny off your speed dial could buy you a pair of Jimmy Choo’s.
If your lifestyle is that of a drive-thru couch potato and the only workout you’re getting is opening and closing the refrigerator door, you might get some benefit from Wii Fitness. For as long as it entertains you. Nintendo’s chief game designer Shigeru Miyamoto invented Wii Fit because he and his family were having fun going to the gym and tracking their weight. Hmm… maybe that’s what you should be doing too, instead of playing video games. I am all for anything that gets your rear in gear, but Wii Fit will only take you so far. It is not a substitute for a lifestyle that includes cardio, resistance, and way less trips to the drive-thru.
By now if you think a low-carb, high-protein diet like Atkins is the best way to lose weight, you need to eat a piece of bread and read this blog again! Atkins is a fat, lazy slob lifestyle. It says you’re fat because you eat carbs. Atkins also says that the way to get thin is by eating fat, fat and more fat in the form of meats, butter, cheeses and fried foods. Wait a minute… back the Bitch trolly up: isn’t that what you’re eating right now? Besides, try telling an American that they can’t have fruit and carbs. That’s like telling a pre-menstrual woman that the world’s chocolate supply is extinguished. Good luck!
Most Americans are under the impression that our bodies need way more protein than they do. In fact, having too much protein in your body is just as dangerous as not having enough. The average time for food to pass through the entire gastrointestinal tract is between 25 and 30 hours, but when you eat animal protein that time is more than doubled! So while your gut is filled with rotting animal flesh for almost 3 days, your body is struggling to find the energy to perform its normal, necessary functions. Such as pooping. Any high-protein diet subjects you to high fat intake, which means you’re looking at nutritional deficiencies, fatigue, bad breath, gout, ulcers, dehydration, muscle loss, kidney stones, heart disease, osteoporosis and a cornucopia of cancers. Bon Apetit!
So what’s the bottom line? Diets don’t work! Save yourself the headaches and the money and stick to REAL food. To learn more, go to http://www.meetsima.com
Stay tuned for Part 2!
Peace + Carbs,
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