Posted by Sima Cohen
If you wear a red string because Madonna does it, you adopted 12 kids from a small African village, or you’re keeping up with the Kardashian’s, you’ve probably thought about being Vegan. Veganism is a lifestyle philosophy that excludes the use of animals for food, clothing or any other purpose. Atkins says that carbs are the reason you’re fat, and Veganism suggests that meat is the culprit. Bouncing from one extreme to another is why you’re fat!
I have found a Vegan diet to be incredibly limiting and difficult, and most Americans can’t and won’t do it. If you take out meat, what do you put in its place? Most Americans aren’t inclined to start shoving broccoli and spinach down their throats instead. And I don’t blame them! Americans suck at eating vegetables and vegetables are the cornerstone of a Vegan diet.
Okay, but you really want to be Vegan. You sold your junky Ford and got a Hybrid Prius. You ditched all your leather, put on your Hemp shoes and went to the market. Yesterday you were in the drive thru at In-n-Out, so you need to get your protein. You go to the freezer section and start tossing fake meat into your cart with the biggest, baddest arrogant attitude. You’re saving the planet! You don’t eat animals! But all that fake meat is highly processed and loaded with chemicals, preservatives and the devil: SPI (Soy Protein Isolate).
SPI is the key ingredient in most soy foods that imitate meat and dairy products. 99% of the time, the soybeans are genetically modified, processed in harsh chemicals, and contain one of the highest percentages of contamination by pesticides of any food. In feeding experiments, the use of SPI increased requirements for vitamins E, K, D and B12 and created deficiency symptoms of calcium, magnesium, manganese, molybdenum, copper, iron and zinc. SPI stimulates more allergic reactions than any other kind of soy, and is the only soy product associated with cancer. Additionally, these highly processed soy products contain high levels of aluminum, which is toxic to the kidneys, nervous system, and the brain. Soy also contains goitrogens. Goitrogens depress thyroid function, which contributes to slow metabolism. Welcome to the dark side of soy.
But Asians eat soy and they live longer, healthier lives than Americans, right? Yes and no. Four out of the top five longest-lived places in the world are in Asia. However, a 1998 survey found that the average daily amount of soy protein consumed in Japan was about eight grams for men and seven for women. That’s less than two teaspoons a day. Except in times of famine, Asians consume soy products only in small amounts, as condiments, and not as a replacement for animal products. With one exception: celibate monks living in monasteries and leading a Vegetarian lifestyle find soy foods quite helpful because they dampen libido. Now your vagina is Vegan too. No more meat!
Don’t get your libido tied in a knot. Have a little soy! Edamame with your sushi, tofu if you like the taste. But eating microwaveable, processed, frozen, dehydrated, preservative and chemical laden fake meat as a replacement for the real thing is like selling your car because the horn doesn’t work. If you want to lose weight, don’t cut off your leg. There are 30 listed ingredients in Morningstar Farms Vegan Chik’n Strips, many of which we can’t pronounce. The first ingredient listed is water and the second is SPI. There are 3 ingredients in one of my orgasmic chicken recipes: Chicken breast, saffron and lemon juice. Assuming you got your libido back, which one turns you on?
Speaking of being turned on, nothing gives me more pleasure than crackin’ off a couple of bricks or dropping the kids off at the pool. (Okay, I can think of one thing that’s better.) But pooping is more than just shit, wipe and flush. It’s the last “hoorah!” in a long process of eliminating waste and detoxifying the body.
Proper detoxification has an impact on almost all of the body’s systems and can have a beneficial effect on most chronic illnesses and weight loss. Being that our bodies are perfect machines, detoxification should happen naturally when the machine is functioning at optimal levels. But considering that most Americans put shit into their mouths before their shit comes out, going on a detox or cleanse is a band-aid on a broken bone. Everything you put in your mouth every single day should aid your body in the natural detox process. If it did, you probably wouldn’t be dealing with chronic conditions such as headaches, acne/skin problems, allergies, low energy, fatigue, poor sleep quality/insomnia, respiratory difficulties, stiff and aching joints/muscles, digestive problems, depression, moodiness, and impaired liver function. And you sure as hell wouldn’t be carrying around 15 or more pounds of extra fat.
Probably the most famous detox is The Master Cleanse or the Lemonade Diet. Beyonce Knowles admits to using this cleanse to drop 20 pounds in 2 weeks for her role in Dreamgirls. She also claims, “As soon as it was over, I gained the weight back.” 14 days of suffering, depriving and shitting her brains out to be thin for one day. When people think about losing weight, they think about losing fat. But this is nothing more than water lost and water gained.
If you want to detox, fine. If you want to detox to lose lots of weight? Houston, we have a problem! Lifetime weight loss has to be earned. You can’t just poop it out and be done. So go ahead… squeeze some lemons into maple syrup and water, pepper it and drink for 10 days straight, no cheating. And then when your cleanse is over, you’ll go back to your drive-thru and get your fix.
You know there’s more where this came from. Visit http://www.meetsima.com for the anti-diet, and stay tuned for Part 3!
Peace + Hamburgers,
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June 27, 2011 | 3:37 pm
Posted by Sima Cohen
As a trainer, and one who is on top of the latest and greatest in Hollywood, I get asked almost every day without fail to provide insight on the newest, fastest, and best ways to lose weight. Really, what they want is for me to reach into my bag and pull out a bottle of magic pills. But I’m still working on them. So my answer to them is always the same: diets are for pussies!
Let’s talk some more about this. Any diet trend becomes a trend because it works to some degree; people lose weight doing it. But how many dieters are able to maintain the same weight loss after the dieting is over? None. And all of these diet trends are unhealthy and dangerous. Nobody wants to lose weight temporarily or kill themselves in the process.
I feel bad for the millions of you who have been tricked and misled by the latest home delivery or pre-packaged, processed, microwaveable diet plans that are being promoted by fat celebrities making a comeback. The highly processed microwaveable foods like the ones on both Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig and Healthy Choice diets are very high in sodium. Our body needs some sodium to function, of course. Sodium helps maintain the right balance of fluids in your body, helps transmit nerve impulses, and influences the contraction and relaxation of muscles. But the typical American diet contains more than twice the amount of sodium than is necessary for normal body functions, and 77% of that sodium comes from processed foods. Sodium attracts and holds water, which increases your blood volume. Increased blood volume makes your heart work harder to move more blood through your blood vessels, which increases your blood pressure. Get it?
High blood pressure or hypertension also equals digestive dysfunction, eye damage, bone loss and osteoporosis, heart and kidney failure, and diminished sex drive. Not that you care. So, a diet high in sodium is a dangerous one.
Plus, a diet comprised of frozen, processed foods is boring, tasteless, and totally unbalanced. These meals are also extremely high in sugar, additives, artificial ingredients, preservatives, and trans fat. Many people have reported heart palpitations, body swelling, and even hospitalization while on these frozen food diets, and I’m surprised there aren’t more cases of people eating their own fingers off an hour after the meal too, considering how low in fiber they are.
You’re smart. You work hard for the money you have and you used your brain to get it. A Nustrisystem Veggie Fajita meal contains maltodextrin, which is linked to weight gain! Sorry to disappoint you, but what you see is not what you get. The meal is also dehydrated, so the preparation method involves adding water before you put it in the microwave. Gross. By now, the thought alone of reheating and eating a frozen mess like that should induce vomiting, but that’s not all. It doesn’t include the tortilla! Ripped off again. So stop being a lazy shit! Go to the store, buy some fresh vegetables and beans, and make your own fajita. The money you will save by taking Jenny off your speed dial could buy you a pair of Jimmy Choo’s.
If your lifestyle is that of a drive-thru couch potato and the only workout you’re getting is opening and closing the refrigerator door, you might get some benefit from Wii Fitness. For as long as it entertains you. Nintendo’s chief game designer Shigeru Miyamoto invented Wii Fit because he and his family were having fun going to the gym and tracking their weight. Hmm… maybe that’s what you should be doing too, instead of playing video games. I am all for anything that gets your rear in gear, but Wii Fit will only take you so far. It is not a substitute for a lifestyle that includes cardio, resistance, and way less trips to the drive-thru.
By now if you think a low-carb, high-protein diet like Atkins is the best way to lose weight, you need to eat a piece of bread and read this blog again! Atkins is a fat, lazy slob lifestyle. It says you’re fat because you eat carbs. Atkins also says that the way to get thin is by eating fat, fat and more fat in the form of meats, butter, cheeses and fried foods. Wait a minute… back the Bitch trolly up: isn’t that what you’re eating right now? Besides, try telling an American that they can’t have fruit and carbs. That’s like telling a pre-menstrual woman that the world’s chocolate supply is extinguished. Good luck!
Most Americans are under the impression that our bodies need way more protein than they do. In fact, having too much protein in your body is just as dangerous as not having enough. The average time for food to pass through the entire gastrointestinal tract is between 25 and 30 hours, but when you eat animal protein that time is more than doubled! So while your gut is filled with rotting animal flesh for almost 3 days, your body is struggling to find the energy to perform its normal, necessary functions. Such as pooping. Any high-protein diet subjects you to high fat intake, which means you’re looking at nutritional deficiencies, fatigue, bad breath, gout, ulcers, dehydration, muscle loss, kidney stones, heart disease, osteoporosis and a cornucopia of cancers. Bon Apetit!
So what’s the bottom line? Diets don’t work! Save yourself the headaches and the money and stick to REAL food. To learn more, go to http://www.meetsima.com
Stay tuned for Part 2!
Peace + Carbs,
May 31, 2011 | 11:20 am
Posted by Sima Cohen
20 years ago, I came here and I was an Israeli in America. After six long years away I was finally able to take a trip with my daughter to Israel to visit my family for Passover, and as I soaked up the changing culture I realized I was an American in Israel.
Boy, has Israel changed! Their real estate is booming, the technology has caught up with ours, and they are all equally engulfed in reality TV. One thing is for certain though, they haven’t adopted our obsession with the word “diet”. Even though everyone is watching the Israeli version of “American Idol” on their iPhones, no one - and I mean no one - cares about flat abs or the size of their thighs. And it shows! They walk everywhere, the food is real and organic, and their biggest worry is having enough food to feed whoever might show up for Shabbat dinner… no RSVP required.
My sister, Galit, was hungry at 9 on a Saturday night, so she called me up to see if I’d like to go out for kebabs. She showed up at 10 and we were eating by 10:30. As a trainer and nutritionist I get the question all the time: “When can I eat my dinner?” and my clients live their lives by the schedules I give them. But while I was sitting across the table from my sister, who I hadn’t seen in six years, I realized we weren’t there for the food. Everyone in that restaurant was there for the experience; the joy of sharing a meal with friends and family. In America, food is primary. How pathetic!
If there were a book of rules, I broke every single one while I was in Israel. The best part is that I enjoyed every moment of it. And needless to say, I didn’t have to go on a detox diet when I returned. In fact, I was healthier and happier. The moral of the story is, if your body says, “I’m hungry!” then feed it! F*ck the rules. After all, it seems to me the rules aren’t really working for Americans.
Peace + Veggies
May 20, 2011 | 3:43 pm
Posted by Sima Cohen
I’m not here to repeat what other people say or nitpick on celebrities’ shortcomings. I’m not going to talk about which Real Housewife has the biggest diamond. I’m not going to bore you with my “personal opinion” on political matters. I might talk about the latest trends, but only to keep you from falling into their traps. Why? Because there are so few years in this life and so many things that are so much more important than yesterday’s gossip. Such as your state of mind, your physical body, your heart and soul, your desires and passions, your family and friends, your hopes and fears, your beliefs and values, and your needs and wants. True health and wellness does come from you, after all.
I came to America from Israel in 1991. I didn’t speak much English, I had no relatives here and no money to my name. After assimilating into the American culture and being bombarded with images of absolute perfection, I struggled for 10 years with an eating disorder. I did have an unmatched talent for transforming people’s bodies and lives - including my own - though. So for the last 20 years, I’ve done just that for people from all walks of life. Now I’m doing it online. I am your news anchor, your personal trainer, your nutritionist, your life coach, your therapist, your friend, and your conscience. If you have a thought, I can predict it. If you have an excuse, I can debunk it. If you have a question, I have an answer.
Peace and Veggies!