December 21, 2013
Dating 101: Schmuck Dressed as a Mensch
Someone I care about hurt my feelings yesterday. It was not malicious, or purposeful, but that didn't make it hurt any less. As I cried about it I wondered what it is about a person that allows them to act with no sense of decency. I was kind to this person and in the end was not treated kindly. That hurts my feelings.
I feel sad when my son sees me cry and so I try to limit my tears to ones of joy, but he saw me cry because a man hurt my feelings. It is a blessing because he learns what is decent in terms of his treatment of women. I am aware that this boy will be a man and so I teach him to be a decent human being and respect the heart.
I find it tragic that a man who is raising a daughter treats a woman with disrespect and a lack of decency. One would think, or rather hope, that someone who wants his daughter to be treated well by men would be kinder. How will he feel about a man who makes his girl cry? How does a father not strive to be decent and aware? Being kind is not hard, nor is it mandatory. It is however decent. To this man I want you to know that not calling is lame, text messages are for children, and dismissing something that mattered without being thoughtful is shameful. You are a schmuck disguised as a mensch and that is not playing fair. I played fair.
I'm a tough girl and I will be fine. I will be sad about this for a quick minute. I truly thought this man was worth an investment of heart and in the end he wasn't. There were only a few months invested but that does not make it matter less. The truth is he was who he was from the start and I chose to invest anyway. He said he was something he wasn't and I believed him. I suppose I needed something, or someone, so I can't completely blame him, or myself for that matter. Life goes on, I will get over it, eventually try again, and God willing love will be found. I know there are decent men out there because I have raised one.
If I was able to do it surely some other fabulous woman did. I am off work for two weeks and my son will be with his dad for a week of it. I'm going into my vacation with a desire to rest, reflect, and regroup. How lovely, and profoundly beautiful, for my grown son to wipe a tear from my face. It has left me grateful and happy, not sad. I have been so consumed with my son going off to college that this small attack on my heart seemed sad, but in the end was a blessing. In my disappointment I was able to see the man I have raised. My son is remarkable and the hearts he touches will be safe. I am a proud mother who will forever keep the faith.