May 25, 2011
So much Change in the Wind
On May 5th, 2011, I jumped at the sound of my grandpa calling my name. It only took one call of my name for me to leap from my bed at 7am.
But it took grandpa 5 hours hence to wake me up as he struggled to get to the bathroom, falling over and unable to walk because, as we’d find out later that day,
He was having his first major illness right before my eyes.
Now I know where I get my stubborn, “I don’t want to bother anyone to help me” attitude from.
This first day that changed my outlook on life - corrected it in many ways, I’d dare contend - came not 12 hours after I’d just met with a mentor and told her that I was feeling balance and that now that I was set on my career goals and entrepreneurial projects (90 Day Challenge, World DJ, GenToGen), I was ready to balance out the pendulum, the scale, and start dating and focusing on my family and personal life.
I guess it was truly time for me to focus on my personal life, but I didn’t mean to invoke a stroke upon my best friend.
Luckily, it was a mild one, but for the last 20 days, I’ve been thrust into taking the leadership in my family as the youngest surviving member in my bloodline whom inevitably stayed alive all these years so that I could participate fully in Beit Zekenim, the caring of the old… and not just any elder, but the the eldest surviving member in my family.
The one whom has supported me, consoled me after heartbreaks, fed, clothed and bathed me.
The one whom has given me unwavering security, more than I could ever imagine until I had to find out just how much security he’s been storing away for me in the ER room as I held his hand and told him that I had his back… And that everything would be OK.
All these years, I’ve been working hard to leave a legacy for my grandpa, so that I could pay respect to his life and legacy, and little did I know that he, too, had been thinking of the same for me. When time is of the essence, the truth comes out, that’s for certain. But, boy, does life have a funny way of presenting itself sometimes.
I am so thankful that my grandpa is my grandpa. We were made for each other.
And though I’m tired as all get all, everyday visiting him at the rehab center to see just how much of his right side of his body will come back to him after his temporary paralysis, I know that if the wind were to have been blowing differently (and believe me it has many, many times), Grandpa Greene would do the same for me.
And he has.
We spend so much time rippin’ and runnin’, and not stopping to see what is right in front of us. People forget to say thank you, to say I love you and to not be total buttheads, err, I mean selfish humans.
I spend so much time rippin’ and runnin’, carrying the load for others, checking in with others, caring for others’ pets and wrangling celebrities, worrying that no one would care for me in an emergency like this.
Oh, how our minds work! So silly. So… silly.
There is so much change in the wind. I feel loved, I feel supported. No, wait, scratch that, I am loved. I am supported.
I am precious.
There is so much change in the wind. The winds of change are whispering and nudging me gently along the lines of life though I am open and vulnerable and completely out of my comfort zone… about to head back to Israel for the second time after I set the intention last year to be back in a year.
Talk about timing. This time last year I was fretting about leaving him. And this time I have a total reason to. But, like then, I have to trust in my heart of hearts that if he were ever to need me, I’d be there. We seem to be connected like that. I laugh when I walk into the hospital and he’s all smiling bigly saying, “BOY! Right on the button! I was just thinking of you.”
That’s ‘cuz I’m always thinking of him, I think. Synchronicity don’t have no mistakes in its timing when love is in the atmosphere.
Grandpa will be OK. And, if nothing else, I have to remember to listen to the advice that I speak to him everyday:
“Don’t worry about a thing. Just take it day by day.” *gentle kiss on the head*
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