October 20, 2010 | 2:17 pm

I wear purple today because I am alive

Posted by Tera Greene

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Sometimes my life becomes overwhelming.  I get stuck and my energy seems to tense up.  All systems - usually running like a smooth stream - shut down.  All I can understand is, “Sleep”.  I don’t want to do anything but sleep.  I am in a state of deep deep deep sadness. My entire Being feels concave.  I wrestle with feelings of being alone.

Choosing to acknowledge and not be ashamed to speak about how you feel is important.  It is so necessary to feel you have a voice that gets heard.  Today I wear purple because I am one of those kids who couldn’t see where all this life stuff was heading. Day by day, though I must be careful because I am so creative I can’t not feel things so deeply, I see that I would have missed out on so much if everything had stopped when I was thirteen.  I wouldn’t have found that four-leaf clover that I didn’t find until I was 23.  Or, what a bummer to have missed out on learning Hebrew at 26?  I’ll never forget turning 25 years old the same day I was part of a rally for marriage equality with 20,000 attendees.  I would have missed out on all the many double rainbows I see… I feel like I see double rainbows so often because it’s Hashem saying, “Relax, yihiye beseder. It’s all going to be OK.  The extra rainbow is Me telling you that I love your rainbow-ness.  You are made of my Goodness, and I will always keep you safe.”

Today I wear purple because I am soon 27, and I am thankful I am still here to make music and sing and dance

and see where all this life stuff is heading. 

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