There are two ways to act: one is based on fear, the other is based on love.
Today I spoke to about 50 6th and 8th graders as a Keynote Speaker and this is one of the concepts I delivered to the youth as it pertains to building community. I know at least one of them “got it”, and I’m sure many more will “get it” over the course of their lives.
I was on a high! I was filled with the ruach of their spirits, the spirit of their enthusiasm, and left feeling celebratory about the fact that up until a week ago, I really had no idea what I really wanted to say for this Keynote Speaking engagement, but I knew that I had no time to act based on fear, which leads to avoiding and manifesting of unwanted outcomes. I intended to find my words and focus on what I wanted, not what I did not want, because if you’re gunna get what you want, may as well manifest only what you want and not what you don’t want. I chose to act based on love, to give the kids the best chat I could based on the community engagement lessons I have really learned since I first was booked over a year ago for this event.
I came home and a few hours later, I was confronted with seeing two fire ambulances pull up across the street. They were coming to take my good friend - an older gentleman - away. The high of the morning became the uncertainty of the on-coming afternoon. Fear was beginning to rush over me.
“I don’t want him to die,” I thought.
I paced and paced and paced, and finally the little voice told me, “Go meet him as they bring him from the house. Act based on love.”
Though I was fearful the medics would say, “Get away ma’am” or that I’d just burst into tears and be an embarrassment, I put the intention out to myself that I intended to tell my beloved neighbor that I loved him. As they wheeled my neighbor out, I crossed the street and said, “You’re gunna be OK right? I LOVE YOU, MR. H!”
I truly acted in love.
There are times when we hesitate to act based on love and instead succumb to fear and miss opportunities… even opportunities to tell someone we love that we love them. This was not going to be that time. I began walking away, and a rush of tears and almost hyperventilation overcame me as I crossed my grandpa in the backyard on the way to go back inside our home. He asked if our neighbor was still conscious, and I said yes, but uncontrollably began to cry even more.
“I just want him to be OK,” I thought.
I was overwhelmingly exhausted.
I don’t know what will happen, but at least I acted based on love.
Recently it was Valentine’s Day, and it was the first year in two years that I’ve been relationship-less. The last time I saw/spoke to my ex, she was acting on fear, not on love, causing me to feel as though I was a bad person, not worthy of the respect and common decency of the acknowledgement of the time we spent together. In essence, she royally dissed me. Here I was acting out of love, but being met with fear-based shunning from someone who had for many years called me her “best friend”. It’s been a year of growth for me, and I realize that through many healing exercises, including an intense 8 week period of shedding last year, that I did not deserve the mistreatment that I was faced with as the relationship started to fade. I deserved, and deserve, more than that. Hell, I demand it.
Do I still love her? Very much so, and with all of my heart of hearts. So much that I pray for her well-being every day, among other things before I go to bed.
But, today it became clear that I am truly someone who acts based on love, and I have to continue to attract that same back to me.
I am looking for a REAL-ationship. One that won’t allow me to feel like I’ve done something wrong simply because the person I think of as my equal chooses to act based on fear.
As I move forward into more of my Power, may the universe put in front of me more opportunities to act based on love.
And may my heart remain open and I find the realationship that I truly, truly, truly deserve.
Make sure you tell someone you love that you love them everyday, because tomorrow ain’t promised to no one. Choose to go against the grain and not be wishy-washy and miss opportunities to tell someone that you love them, and not only that, don’t shun them because of your fear. We’re human beings. We are made from love. It’s time to express it. And I don’t mean in a confusing way that gives mixed signals, but in a way that is not selfish and purely filled on the goodness of the Way we were Created to Be.
So, if tomorrow never comes, know, gentle reader, that I love you.
Tera* currently has a wide-open heart and her CD of the past couple of months in heavy rotation is Sting’s “Brand New Day”. You can read more from her at the “Challah Back” blog on NextGenJews or just find her at www.djnovajade.com