I remember Saturday nights at my grandparents’ house — thin clouds of cigarette smoke lingering in the air, the sound of shuffling cards and dice rolling over a mahogany backgammon table, the smells of mixed perfumes and glamour. It was their monthly doreh, which in Farsi means “inner circle.”
When I was about 6, my grandmother and her friends alternated the monthly responsibility of hosting their inner circle of friends for the evening. The women, decadently dressed, would entice me over to their table by letting me try on their rose-scented Chanel lipstick. I would stare in awe at their freshly manicured red-painted fingernails as they bridged decks of cards for their next round of rummy. While the men had heated debates in a corner over the rules of backgammon, the women discussed a variety of topics, ranging from the latest fashion trends, to new engagements, to boasting about the ages and accomplishments of their grandchildren.
Today, a more modern-age doreh consists of Iranian-Jewish mothers meeting at their local Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf to discuss fundraisers for their Jewish charities. Eager to get my generation involved, they encouraged me to attend some of their get-togethers. Their communal get-togethers made me think: What will my communal role be as a Persian-Jewish woman?
It wasn’t until a few years later that I realized there is a whole new breed of us who are redefining the doreh and the concept of what it means to be a woman in our community. What started as a group of friends joined together by a 30 Years After fellowship that shapes civic-minded leaders morphed into a women’s empowerment book club, where we read and talked about the evolution of Iranian-Jewish women. We playfully dubbed our group the “SIW Doreh” — an inner circle of Strong, Independent Women.
Today, this group stands as a testament to the fact that more and more Iranian-American-Jewish women are steaming their way into uncharted territory. Within our diverse circle, we have an occupational therapist for the Los Angeles Unified School District, who spends her free time spearheading Angel City Sports, the leading Paralympic Sports movement in Southern California that provides people with physical disabilities sports opportunities.
Another member is a program coordinator for JIMENA, an organization dedicated to preserving Sephardic and Mizrahi culture, who also is helping to build the community of Chaya, a nonprofit that cultivates connection and perspective through workshops and open dialogue with Jewish-Iranian women; and extending the reach of The Skribe, a nonprofit she launched that gives our community’s young professionals a platform to amplify their voice and perspectives.
There is a coordinator who counters the cultural boycott of Israel at Creative Community for Peace by promoting arts as a means to peace; a social worker at Encino Hospital who specializes in therapy for trauma and addiction, and on the side advocates for the National Alliance on Mental Illness; and an LEK consultant who spends 60-plus hours a week strategically fulfilling various clients’ financial and philanthropic goals, who in her spare hours directs her firm’s local chapter project management and public relations for Inspire, a volunteer organization that fosters pro-bono work by connecting consultants from top firms with nonprofit organizations focused on education and youth development. Each woman is a change-maker who has chosen a career path and designed a unique role in her civic life.
Our monthly sessions involve delving into public health challenges, sharing our newest readings and tips for achieving work-life balance, and opening our Rolodexes to one another for support. We discuss the latest in combating the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions movement, tips for preserving our culture and traditions, and how to’s for overcoming genetic and health stigmas, among other challenges faced in our community. We share insight and quotes from workshops and talks we’ve attended, discuss newfound passions, and explore ideas for building a thriving community of Iranian-Jewish women. We inspire one another and have built a safe troop — free of judgment — that drives change.
This is the present-day doreh — a group of women defined by their ability to be authentic and project their voices through their passions.
I’m excited to see more women in our community join the doreh trend: Chose your own path, be true to yourself, and build around yourself a circle of inspiring and passionate women.
Jasmine Youssefzadeh is founder and CEO of Impact Rising, a cultural movement agency specializing in storytelling and engagement campaigns that unite business growth and social impact.
More news and opinions than at a Shabbat dinner, right in your inbox.