When I heard the tragic news that the three Israeli teenagers, Naftali, Eyal, and Gilad, who had been kidnapped by members of Hamas weeks earlier, had been found murdered, I was with 33 American and Israeli peers at a business workshop in Jerusalem. After one of the Israelis in my group announced the news, all of those in the room began to grimace, whisper to one another, and contact their loved ones.
The lecturer, an Israeli, continued for a few minutes after we heard the news. But everyone was still whispering, texting, and researching articles for more details. Nobody could focus, and the lecturer seemed oblivious to how traumatic this news was for the group. After an American in the group suggested we observe a moment of silence and then take a break, an Israeli explained, “What you have to understand is that this is very sad, but it is normal for us. We have to live with this.”
As an American in Israel, I was surprised at the range of responses to this news. While some met the tragedy with reluctant acceptance, others out-poured with emotion and anger. For some, the reluctant acceptance acts as a defense mechanism to deal with the frequent tragedies that would otherwise emotionally incapacitate the Israeli nation. For others, taking action was the therapeutic response to the pain of loss. Taking action can be healing, but that depends on the course chosen.
After reflecting for a year on how best to honor the memory of the three boys, I believe there are three ways:
First, we must stop victim blaming. It is never okay to excuse the murder of innocent Jews with rhetoric suggesting that in some obscene sense Israel or the three boys are ultimately responsible. The three boys are not dead because they are living in Israel, but because they are Jews. The murderers, like many in Palestinian society, are taught that slaughtering innocent Jews was not only an acceptable method to fighting “the occupation”, but their moral responsibility.
Second, we should live by the Talmudic saying, “Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world.” In this vain, over 350 Israelis visited the family of Mohammad Abu Khdeir to pay their condolences after the Palestinian teenager was murdered in a revenge killing. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu personally called the boy’s father to offer sympathies on behalf of the Jewish State.
Third, we must take action to heal the Jewish world and promote peace. A rabbi leading our group reminded us that our program, which focuses on Jewish social entrepreneurship, is exactly the appropriate way to channel our trauma. When the Jewish world chooses unity after tragedy, the Jewish people and Israel will prosper.
So far, we are off to a great start. Last week, more than a million people in Israel and around the world participated in the “Unity Day” event, marking one year on the Hebrew calendar since the kidnap and murder of three Israeli teenagers, Naftali, Eyal, and Gilad. The three boys’ parents, in conjunction with Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat and the Gesher organization, developed the day’s programming.
In hundreds of schools, community centers and public venues, Unity Day facilitated learning through text, social justice initiatives, and community art projects.
The mothers of the three boys released a public statement saying, “The kidnappings of our boy’s marks one of the more difficult moments in Israel's modern history. But the reality is that out of this bitter tragedy came a spirit of unprecedented unity amongst the Jewish people. Our commitment is to ensure that this sense of unity remains alive. This was the mission of Unity Day and we are so moved and encouraged by the global response.”
Reflecting on times of revenge, bloodshed, and fear in Israel, it is vital, now more than ever, to continue to channel our past tragedies into a time of Jewish community building and positive initiatives.
Eliana Rudee is a Fellow with the Salomon Center for American Jewish Thought. She is a Core18 Fellow and a graduate of Scripps College, where she studied International Relations and Jewish Studies. Follow her @ellierudee.
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