Israeli women: Lean in, or can’t have it all?

Rashi Elmaliah, a chief thinker at Seital Marketing, said she was “closing deals in between contractions” when she was giving birth.

Devora Mason, a manager of Voiceitt and single mom of five children, brought one of her boys to her panel lecture, maintaining, “if you ask me whether or not I can have it all before or after 8 p.m., the answer would be very different.”

Aliza Levitt-Gillman, a cognitive behavioral therapist, had her husband take parental leave and changed home conversations from, “How will I deal with this?” to “How will we deal with this?”

Leemor Machnai, owner of Machnai Weiss & Parenters Ltd., had to sit at a management table five times until the men around it listened to her.

These are just some of the things that women do in order to “lean in” to positions of power while many attempt to “have it all” with family life as well.   

Ima Kadima, Women in Wireless, and Digital Eve Israel jointly hosted a Jerusalem event on Feb. 24, discussing two books leading the conversation about women in the workplace: “Lean In,” by Sheryl Sandberg, who argues that women need to push themselves more into the workplace to be heard and considered; and “Unfinished Business,” by Anne Marie Slaughter, who urges us to reconsider whether women really can have it all.

The venue, Tmol Shilshom Cafe in Jerusalem, was overflowing with people, with an additional 90 people watching the event’s video stream from around the world.

This comes as no surprise as Israel is at the center of the discussion of the challenges that women face as professionals, moms, and women, and how such people can take their careers to the next level. The panelists maintained that Israel is a role model for feminism when it comes to balancing professional and family lives: “The top people in head organizations understood when I said ‘no’ because I needed to look after my kids,” said Mason.

Gillman changed the conversation at home about how we perceive the male role and splits housework with her husband, saying, “Gender didn’t play a role in decisions.”

Melanie Amini, co-founder of Gossip Media, said, “In Israel, it’s easier. It’s a very child-friendly society. There’s a lot of help associated with being a mother.”

Naava Shafner, executive director of Ima Kadima, said, “People respect [maternity] leave here. The maternity policy is three months’ paid leave, and the benefits can hold another three months of unpaid leave. 

In response, Machnai noted that paid leave is a nuanced situation, and took issue with the ability of women to get six months off of work “as if it doesn’t affect a company.”  “In addition, some people take advantage of it. One woman who worked with me took eight months off and then quit right after,” she said.

Indeed, in many ways Israel still has a ways to go in supporting women in their careers and family life. According to Israel’s Central Bureau of Statistics from 2014, Israeli women earn 32 percent less than men on average. Israel, as the startup nation, has a thriving tech scene, but only about 35 percent of high-tech employees are women. This is better than Silicon Valley’s numbers, where women make up only 20 percent of developers and 11 percent of executives.

Avigail Levine from Aleph VC said she always wonders where the women are at tech events.

Gillman said that there is a lot of ingrown cultural chauvinism in Israel, as “much of Israel still views the mother as the caretaker and the father as the breadwinner.”

While Elmaliah claimed that with every child she bore, her business increased, others were not as sure about having it all, especially at the same time. An audience member commented, “Perhaps we can have it all, but we certainly can’t do it all!”

All agreed that not having it all is not a reflection on women, but instead, on a society that undervalues women’s work. “Gender is what the discussion is about and what it shouldn’t be about,” one said.

“We get the message that we can and must do it all. I treat so many overwhelmed women for anxiety, who are devalued and undervalued, especially in caring professions. And now, many of us are in what I call a ‘sandwich generation’ of women who care for their children and for aging parents.”

Elmaliah reminded the crowd, “Sometimes it’s okay to drop the ball. If your kids are the only ones not wearing a white shirt on Rosh Chodesh, it’s okay.”

Mason agreed, saying that the most important thing is to have the support of your community, and for women to give each other strength.

The event may have opened a platform to do just that, as Chaya Rajchgod Berkowitz, who was sitting in the audience, commented afterward, “Thank you for a great evening. I always feel empowered and ready to take on the world after these events,” to which Machnai responded, “Go for it. We are all here to support you.”

Eliana Rudee is a fellow with the Haym Salomon Center and the author of the “Aliyah Annotated” column for JNS.org. She is a graduate of Scripps College, where she studied international relations and Jewish studies. Her bylines have been featured in USA Today, Forbes, and The Hill.