Proud to Be a Reform Rabbi

The Reform rabbis vote affirming same-sex marriage (April 7) is a vote to enter into a covenant with each other -- to respect individual conscience rather than being obedient to antiquity.

King David was an erotic lover who was also a singer, shepherd, guerrilla and an adept king. His wives were many and varied. His relationship with Jonathan was not only erotically charged but also presumably sexual, "wonderful was your love to me, more than the love of women." (I Sam.)

In North Carolina we affirmed that human sexual diversity is part of the richness of life. For me this historic vote envisions a society in which sexual behavior, whether heterosexual, bisexual, gay and lesbian or celibate, is all considered healthy. Our brothers and sisters should be affirmed, not feared or despised. I am proud to be a Reform rabbi.

Rabbi Steven B. Jacobs

Temple Kol Tikvah

Not a Fan

Teresa Strasser is a whiney, bombastic narcissist who trashes her family, friends and ex-boyfriends. Strasser's columns rarely, if ever, contain an iota of Jewish content. Rather, they offer the reader an inside view to Strasser's pathetic Ricki Lake-esque personal life. I can watch talk shows for that. Most importantly as a 27-year-old Jewish adult, I am offended by Strasser's violation of one of Judaism's most vital commandments -- l'shon hara or in colloquial terms, thou shall not gossip. If The Jewish Journal wants to lend a voice to Jewish adults I suggest it hire a person with some knowledge about Judaism. As for Strasser's column, it belongs in Cosmopolitan.

Name Withheld Upon Request

Teresa Strasser has something to say on page 58.

Saving Six Worlds

On Shabbat Hagadol, it will be five years since we donated our daughter Alisa's organs following her death in a terrorist attack while she was a student in Israel. While the donation decision is seen as difficult, for our family, at least, it was relatively easy.

Alisa, 20-years-old, was in the midst of her sixth trip to Israel when she was murdered. When the doctors at Soroka Medical Center approached us about donation, we realized we could not say no for many of the same reasons set forth in Julie Gruenbaum Fax's article (April 7). But we also thought it was payback time to the people of the State of Israel who would welcome our daughter into their homes as a Shabbat guest, to the families who have sacrificed their sons in defense of our homeland, to the bus drivers who brought our daughter to school and to all parts of Israel, and to the people who continue to demonstrate that our faith is alive and vibrant after nearly 4,000 years.

On the day of Alisa's death, Rabbi Moshe Tendler reiterated to me that the Mishnah -- he who saves a life is as if he has saved an entire world -- gave us the unique opportunity to save six worlds. Who could pass up that kind of opportunity?

Your article points out the most important aspect of this sensitive issue -- it is education about the permissibility and mitzvah of organ donation that will lead to the saving of more lives.

Stephen M. Flatow

Jersey City, New Jersey

Not Just Good Times

We, the Los Angeles members of the UJC's National Young Leadership Cabinet who attended the Washington 12 Conference, offer our opinion on the events of the conference as reported in the article "Good Works and Good Times" (March 31).

As your reporter stated, the conference programming is incredible. The large number of breakout sessions is a result of the programmers' desire to fit as many of the incredible speakers who want to participate in this conference as possible. Yes, certain sessions were overcrowded and participants were shut out, but the large selection of scheduled sessions allowed participants to select other sessions to attend. A significant portion of the overcrowding was due to the participants' desire to optimize their time at the conference. This was evidenced in the large numbers of people attending the optional "How-to" and Torah study sessions March 19 and 20.

Though the weather on March 21 was dreadful, the few people who opted out of the Hill visits were an anomaly. The majority of participants chose to visit their assigned Congress members and senators, not to spend time in the bar. This was evidenced by the fact that a number of legislators signed on as co-sponsors to the House and Senate bills we lobbied for on behalf of the Jewish community.

While the Washington Conferences always attract a young, energetic crowd with interests in meeting others with the same concerns, without the incredible programming, high quality speakers and the Hill visit, we would not get 3,000 people to attend this conference every two years.

Michal Amir, M.D., Brian Fagan, Gradley Gibbons, Monique Maas Gibbons, Harold Ginsburg, Alan Jacknow, M.D., Karen Kaufman Perlman, Michele Sackheim, Valerie Salkin, Mark Weinstein

A Look at Nazi Germany

I never knew my grandparents. I never got to sleep over at my grandma's house or get spoiled by her. Not only were there no grandparents in my life, but there were no aunts, uncles or cousins. There was no one but my mother, father and sister. From Nazi Germany sprung the plan to make sure of that.

I wonder, does Wendy Schatzman, who wrote the travel piece "A Look at Jewish Germany" (March 17) have grandparents? Does she know what it's like to live with a father who never really lived with his own children, but lived in his head with his seven brothers and sister who the Germans took from him and made ashes from them? Does Schatzman know what it's like to live with a mother who won't talk about what the Germans did to her family because if she said it out loud she might go insane?

I realize there are Jews who can live in Germany and Jews who can visit Germany. They can eat in all the wonderful restaurants Schatzman advertises and visit the synagogues and museums and have a lovely time. As for me, I couldn't do these things.

Miriam Fiber

Los Angeles

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

As a single Jewish male, I must take exception to the "Vanishing Jewish Male" (VJM) (Letters to the Editor, April 7). The Jewish women I've met and dated have not been "overly particular, uncompromising and unapproachable," nor have they been golddiggers. Sounds to me like he's been approaching the wrong Jewish women and using the wrong avenues to meet Jewish women and that is ultimately your responsibility VJM (same to you, Abigail Pickus).

Of course, I don't go to Jewish singles events. The singles events, by their very nature, generate unrealistic expectations on both sides of the gender line, and don't strike me as being conducive to actually getting to know a person -- singles events are dog and pony shows. Why not, then, find a new way to meet women (and men). But don't slag all Jewish women (and Jewish men) just because you keep going back to the same empty well time and time again.

If The Jewish Journal singles classifieds don't work for VJM either, consider this: we live in Los Angeles -- a place known for its large Jewish population. I find that I can't turn around without bumping into a Jew, and they say it's 51 percent female to 49 percent male out there... you do the math.

Alan Zonder

Via e-mail

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I found the description of Jewish single women anonymously written by VJM both degrading and grossly inaccurate. There exist superficial, cold and excessively materialistic people within every religious or ethnic group but to make generalizations that characterize Jewish women as "aloof, distant and callous" is simply untrue. There are many Jewish women, including myself, who don't care about the size of a man's wallet, but rather cherish such things as his friendship, kindness to others, and love and devotion to his family.

I, too, could succumb to the unflattering stereotypes often attributed to Jewish single men and decide that most, if not all, are obsessed with a woman's looks, breast size and waistline. In fact, I have on more than one occasion come across such men. Unlike VJM, however, I do not allow such losers to shape my perception of Jewish single men in general. Having such an attitude has permitted me to meet wonderful Jewish men, who are kind, considerate, loving and compassionate -- men who exemplify values that make them, in the truest sense, "Jewish."

If VJM truly wants to find a nice Jewish woman, I suggest he first make himself open to such a possibility and the Jewish women worthy of his "value, virtue and character" will eventually appear.

Talia Shulman

West Hollywood

Correction

The article "Picture Picture" (April 7) about the Picture L.A./T.A. 2000 teen photography exhibit currently on view at the Jewish Federation/Valley Alliance's Finegood Gallery failed to include that the exhibit is sponsored by The Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles' Tel Aviv-Los Angeles Partnership, through its Culture Committee.