January 29, 2010
Oracle of Bacon Part 2
After entering my last essay about bacon into Digg.com, I noticed this essay about bacon which, consequently got a hundred and eighty four digs, (I got ZERO). It said:
“Scientists have found that eating a plate of bacon and eggs could help pregnant women boost the intelligence of their unborn child.
Could this be? Is this possible? Are Jews relegated to second best in intelligence because we don’t eat the crispy meat? There must be a mistake! My kids are stupid because of my Kosher diet? But we are supposed to be a smart people. We are the developers of the Polio vaccine, the discoverers of the speed of light and color photography. We have uncovered the origins of how infectious diseases spread. We are the discoverers of the structure of the atomic nuclei, the inventors of the sewing machine! How could it be because we don’t eat bacon our intelligence is defected?
“Other foods that contain a high level of the nutrient include liver, milk, chicken and nuts.”
Thank G-d! See- we’re all good. Get yourself a side order of chopped liver, and a large chocolate milk, there’s still hope for your babies turning out intelligent. Just don’t eat them together. That’s not Kosher.