Jewish Journal


February 1, 2010

Life’s Little Questions Part 2


Is winning a golden idol in the 7th grade for best science fair project, as cool as winning a golden idol at the Grammy’s?

Can I convince my kids it doesn’t really matter if they win first place at the Torah Fair?

If they don’t win first place, will my “you did your best which is all that counts” speech work instead?

Will I get reimbursed for the hundred and fifty bucks I spent on the Torah Fair supplies?

Is there a special place for teachers who create this fair?

Does anyone know the science fair project I won first place for in 7th grade, was a survey that proved the science fair was rigged and a waste of time?

Are the Grammy’s rigged too?

Is there any chance and hope that our society will cherish a free buffet night as reward for our accomplishments instead of a shelf duster?

Does anyone from my PTA mind if I wear a ball gown to the Torah Fair event?

If my kids break out in song during the announcements of who won, will they receive extra points?

Can we cancel any and all programming that require First place recognition so the rest of us who are second best can continue to be second best without any emotional scarring?

If you win first place, does it ruin your chances of ever being inspired to try anything ever again, since you will forever be trying to attain that which you have already aspired to be?

Is landing in first sort of overrated?

And why is the word “Bestseller” annoying?

How are bestsellers judged when there are more then a thousand of them with that title?

How many books can be a bestseller anyways? Cause if there is more then one bestseller, than was it really a BEST seller?  Technically, it’s sort of an ok seller, it should be called BEST SELLER- IN COMPARISON, or second best seller. Maybe we can have a few other words that describe level of bests. Best, reasonable, fair enough, suitable sort of sold- seller.  I’d like to be a “Sort-of-Sold Seller”.  That would make me feel like a winner.

Would anyone like to give me an award for this essay? 

If it wins First place, can we end all First place awards for good, so I am the last person on the planet with a first place title?  Now that would be a true Best-seller.  No need for applause, or a golden idol just break out the smorgasbord self serve meal, ‘cause I’m hungry.









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