January 9, 2011
I’d Like to Thank The Academy- I Mean The Journal
This weekend marks my one-year anniversary for “My Big Fat Jewish Life” blog. Oh well there are so many people to thank. Who shall I start with first?
I’d like to thank the Journal for allowing me to write down every event in my life as thousands of people take witness to my ever-growing neurosis and constant anguish.
I’d like to thank Jay Firestone, the web designer, who created this beautiful column- Jay you are a talented fellow Pittsburgher, and I thank you!
Rob Eshman, thank you for believing in me enough to allow my posts to be included in your paper.
Last year when I attended the Jewish Federation’s cocktail party at the Luxe introducing their new Executive Director, Jay Sanderson, it was never my plan to walk away with a blog. Rob Eshman was the M.C at the event and I marched right up to him and said, “I’d like to write for the Journal.”
I had just finished writing one of my scripts (that I had just so happened to have pitched to Jay only five months prior while he ran JTN (Jewish Television Network) -
and felt I wanted to share some of my billions of thoughts that pass through the gates of my brain, to which Rob responded- “How ‘bout a blog?”
Of course it wouldn’t be a real blog if not for my family members who live in constant fear that their names may appear one day from my holy pen. Especially my husband, who is constantly saying “Chava, don’t write this one down.” Or “Can we just keep this event between us?” That and- “Chava- please don’t tell people we’re on vacation.”
I’d like to thank the many people I may have offended for not telling me I have offended them- causing me any unnecessary obsessing.
I’d like to thank the food channel for providing the many recipes I may have used and written about on my “Friday Food Day” columns early on.
I’d like to thank Facebook for being one of my many portals to getting my blog into the hands of my incredible readers.
I’d like to thank Apple, Google, and Kinko’s, who has put up with my constant ramble and have continued to support me with photo copies, my Macbook, and getting my articles read across the globe.
Many people ask me, what is it like to have a blog? How often do I write in this blog? What is the point of having a blog?
Having a blog is like having a newborn child. It is an ever-pressing obligation. No matter how often I feed it, it is still there waiting for another feeding several hours and days later. It needs a lot of attention, and occasionally loves me back with words of affirmation, or criticism that can leave me up all night thinking about how to respond. Sometimes I have to change it, it can get messy if I find a mistake. And relatives are afraid it might spit up something on them they will have to explain to friends and co-workers later.
More importantly it is my portal to immortality, and I am forever grateful to every reader who has wasted a few minutes out of his/her day to entertain themselves with my obsessions, fixations, and observations.
I am very excited to announce I will be launching a brand new website that will be featuring all of my crazy ideas including my films, some more essays, and my up and coming events.
I’d like to thank the very talented Roy Sivan, owner of LA Website Designs, for his incredible genius in making my website, and am very grateful for his work. It’s still a work in progress, but figured I’d mention it so I can promote myself, because that’s what bloggers do.
This blog has been a great way to get to get to know my readers and myself. It has also sparked other creativity that I am hoping to share on my website. Stay tuned for more news on my upcoming memoir entitled “Life Outside The Teacup” and my new “Hit” Single entitled “Eternally Hopeful” that I wrote and collaborated with Bentzi Marcus from Eighth Day band and the very talented Hannah Defore- an incredible up and coming musician who is much younger than me, yet has already written a ten year plan- I of course have no idea what I’m doing ten minutes from now let alone in a decade. (I say “Hit Single” as if I’m Whitney Houston getting ready to launch some song that fifty billion people will buy. This is my way of looking like I have a track record at being good at something other than writing about the lottery and my obsession with coffee. It might be a full on album, but I am hoping to keep expectations low, so when I do come out with the full album, everyone will really want to hear it and assume my ten year plan is also under way.)
Thank you all again, for your continued support and for allowing me to thank all of you without having to wear a sparkly dress or walk down some red carpet. (I am actually dressed up in a fancy gown while I write this essay- just for my own self-esteem and effect.)
Most importantly, thank you to G-d for allowing me to be His gateway in sharing the many thoughts, ideas, and experiences that has been afforded to me- even if some of them could have been orchestrated with a little less drama, and a little more forgiveness. Hopefully I will be pardoned and exonerated, and G-d and I will finally see eye to eye towards one another- instead of our usual banter where he works on messing with me, while I spend all day trying to justify Him like a Lindsay Lohan publicist on this blog. It’s a dance, and writing it all down is all part of it. I wouldn’t mind writing about some awesome experiences this upcoming year instead of some tragic ones. G-d willing, poo poo poo- (This is me kissing up to the evil eye.)
Thanks for letting me share my 98th entry! Two more and I can finally get to the one hundred mark.
Lastly, thank you to Lindsay Lohan for allowing me to use your name as a constant metaphor this year.
(This is the part where the music comes up and cuts my speech off. There are actually several more paragraphs to this essay but you can’t see it, because we’ve gone to commercial.)