Top 10 Jew Wish list For X-mas

1- A No-traffic day (Don’t think we don’t appreciate this gesture ON christmas- but what about the day before christmas-?)

2- One lousy coffee shop opened on Christmas morning.

3- Someone to mistaken our bearded husbands for Santa, which translates into a box of home made cookies.

4- A free aisle in any store that has a Jew register where we can get in and out for one thing while the rest of last minute Christmas keepers buy their loot.

5- A stocking with actual socks ( for centuries we have argued over the actual contents of stocking stuffers- if we had the stuffers, we’d like sox- maybe cash inside the sox, but definitely sox.)

6- A kosher honey baked ham.

7- A coined phrase that everyone uses which is non denominational like “Merry Winter” or Happy December”.

8- A Chanukah sale where all of pastrami everywhere is eighty percent off.

9- The ablity to drink eggnog without feeling stared at.

10- And finally- a Mariah Carey “Happy December” non-denominational (Christmas) album.