December 23, 2010
Top 10 Jew Wish list For X-mas
1- A No-traffic day (Don’t think we don’t appreciate this gesture ON christmas- but what about the day before christmas-?)
2- One lousy coffee shop opened on Christmas morning.
3- Someone to mistaken our bearded husbands for Santa, which translates into a box of home made cookies.
4- A free aisle in any store that has a Jew register where we can get in and out for one thing while the rest of last minute Christmas keepers buy their loot.
5- A stocking with actual socks ( for centuries we have argued over the actual contents of stocking stuffers- if we had the stuffers, we’d like sox- maybe cash inside the sox, but definitely sox.)
6- A kosher honey baked ham.
7- A coined phrase that everyone uses which is non denominational like “Merry Winter” or Happy December”.
8- A Chanukah sale where all of pastrami everywhere is eighty percent off.
9- The ablity to drink eggnog without feeling stared at.
10- And finally- a Mariah Carey “Happy December” non-denominational (Christmas) album.