List of things I plan on changing or making better this year:
1. All my towels are crusty. I need new ones. Tj Maxx better have a good sale.
2. Stop writing cheesy lines like: “Years ago I heard a caller chime into the Dr. Laura program complaining about a girlfriend….” Did I actually just quote Dr. Laura on my blog? No wonder I only get 200 readers a day- I suck.
3. Work on self- esteem.
4. Buy a pair of Ray Bans to avoid eye cancer and look cool at the same time. (This may help w #3)
5. Eat flaxseed daily. (My cousin’s a nutritionist and told me it will help with hunger pangs. So far I’m still craving all of aisle four in the supermarket.)
6. Get a spray tan. (I’m a little afraid of wasting away in a white glaze of sorrowful pasty Goth that could be confused with a low blood count and writing indoors for several hours hinting to not having a life. Am I nervous about standing naked in front of a powerful sprayer inside a small airless cramped booth while inhaling the fumes? Oh G-d yes. Yes I am. But as Aunty Rose always said, “Beauty takes pain”.)
7. Make an appointment with the therapist to get over being in small spaces.
8. Stop writing shallow lines like “beauty takes pain.” Stop being shallow.
9. Buy a dairy pot big enough to make onion soup. Get recipe for onion soup.
10. Take on an art project like refinishing my dining room chairs. Oh who am I kidding?
11. Replace hot dog night with vegan night. (So not gonna happen.)
12. Buy a new crock-pot, since the old one just exploded in the plug socket. Not good.
13. Take one day at a time. Live, love, laugh. Have an attitude of gratitude. Let go or be dragged. Basically, work on collecting as many Alanon and AA quotes so I don’t forget how to be normal.
14. Get normal.
15. Buy more paper for my purse. Get a new pen.
16. Compliment husband more.
17. Try not to glaze over when one of my children decides to share their long school stories that don’t really have a beginning middle or end.
18. Watch Avatar in the theater because if I don’t I may have missed a monumental 3D occasion. (I don’t really have a desire; this is more out of obligation than anything else. Three hours of sitting with glasses while floating in another world, which could start up a bout of vertigo is just so unappealing when the other theater has a another flick playing with a lot less commitment. I show up to the theater think about going, know it is my screenwriting obligation but just can’t bring myself to buy a ticket. Why? Why? Maybe if I brought a tub of ice cream with I’d be more inclined.)
19. Buy ice cream.
20. Buy, rent, or just do something with my house that will require having a little more stability in my life. (Geeze, I sound like a person who lives in a box on the blvd.)
21. Make amends to Dr. Laura.
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