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Having Dental Work is Just Like Getting Caught In A Drug Bust:

by Chava Tombosky

June 30, 2010 | 1:23 am

While you’re getting high, some woman’s cleavage is hovering over u.

There’s a lot of drooling involved.

Swallowing anything is a bad idea.

Little capsules containing white expensive matter are hidden all over.

Just as you get comfortable with a relaxed buzz, there are people holding metal objects poking you, interrupting your groove.

There are needles and tanks filled with questionable chemicals everywhere.

Lots of chaos ensues and although a play by play would be helpful, even if you get one, you’re in no condition to respond with anything besides an “Aha”.


You are caught in a reclining position.

Everyone wants you to just “straighten” out. And if you don’t, they will send you to the right people who can help, but it’ll cost you.

People will pay huge amounts of money for whiter stuff.

All is fair game, caps, extractions, and I don’t care what color crown you’re wearing, no special treatment will be issued.

Talking is out of the question.

Vacuuming up evidence is only a temporary solution.

This would never happen in Mexico.

A light is in your face with 2 people hovering over you.

You are told to spit out anything foreign in your mouth.

You are charged huge fines.

There is no one insuring your welfare- and if you want insurance, that will cost you too.

Gold is King.

If you’re in the system, you’ll probably be doing time every 3-6 months.

Everyone’s wearing a uniform but you.

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