March 25, 2010 | 9:58 pm

What Seder Means To Me…... By, Mordy Tombosky (13)

Posted by Chava Tombosky

Follow me on

The following is an essay my 13 year old son wrote for his D’var Torah he handed in this week in his eighth grade class.  I really liked it and thought you would all enjoy reading a child’s perspective on his own experience of what Passover means to him. 

                                                                                    What Seder Means To Me:  By, Mordy Tombosky

The whole reason we have a Seder is so a child will ask, “What is this for?”

We do everything possible so that the child’s mind will open and we will get him to ask questions. And so, the Seder opens up with the Mah-nishtanah.  A child that doesn’t ask questions sometimes doesn’t understand what they are learning. Or it could be that he’s not interested. It could also mean that he couldn’t care less. If someone is concerned and really wants to know, then he will ask questions.  Questions help us grow to understand more. If we want to find the truth, we must learn to ask the right questions. But, we also need to make sure the question makes sense. The sooner we have a better understanding of some things, our appreciation for Hashem is greater. And then we understand the miracles Hashem did for us in Egypt.  We must continually search deeper and deeper for the better meaning. This way our appreciation for Hashem will grow greater and stronger.

It says: “The more a person discusses the story of Yetzias Mitzrayim (Going out of Egypt), the more praiseworthy he is.” The way I can incorporate this in my own life is to ask questions. If I never ask questions, then I’ll never learn anything. When I was in second grade, I thought it was rude to ask questions. Then one day my teacher asked me, “Why don’t you ask me any questions?” I said, “Really? Isn’t that interrupting you?”  He just smiled and said “No, not at all.”  It was then that I realized we don’t avoid questions, but rather we encourage them. So next time you feel shy about asking a question for whatever reason, ask it, and you may learn something you never knew.

March 25, 2010 | 9:21 am

Bread Trumps All

Posted by Chava Tombosky

I’m dog sitting my brother’s dog while he’s on vacation in Cancun for Passover. This is a big deal because I don’t do dogs.  I bought him this dog cause HE wanted it, and I guess that’s why I got stuck with babysitting privileges. 

Here’s the catch with watching a dog on Passover, according to the Rabbis, I have to change her diet to non-leavened grub.  Here’s a list of foods I CANNOT feed my animal for the next eight days:

Any dog food consisting of wheat, wheat starch, wheat gluten, barley, oats, oat fiber, pasta, rye, or brewer’s yeast is OUT.

Here’s a list of dog foods that I CAN serve little Layla:

Hunk of Beef, 100% buffalo, duck, pheasant, and venison.

If I have a fish, I can’t feed them the typical pyramid feeders or vacation blocks because they have Chametz.

Here’s what I can feed my fish:

Dried worms, brine shrimp, and tubular worms.

According to this, Passover is the one time of year where Trafe meat, insects, and shellfish are kosher- it’s just the bread that is OUT. 

Huh, nice to know- that is if you’re a dog or a clown fish.

0 Comments — Leave your comment

March 24, 2010 | 5:28 pm

ITS ALL A CHOICE

Posted by Chava Tombosky

Here’s a question I received from my dear friend and fellow reader:

Q: So, tell me, what am i supposed to learn from Passover? How does it apply to my unorthodox life? The holidays fill me with confusion.

Do I answer this question with a Pollyannish response?  It’s blissful, and wonderful! You’re supposed to learn how to be grateful for not being a slave, that you have a voice part of a collective history that entitles you the right to arduous Spring cleaning, over-priced Judaic stores, and savorless Matzoh Meal recipes.  Or do I tell her the truth that it is difficult and that many feel interrupted as a result of having to stop their month to eat a hard cracker like constipating tasteless non-pita for 8 days?

Judaism is filled with do’s and don’ts, with haves and have nots, laws and sins, resentments and bliss. 

Recently I’ve been getting inundated by attitudes that look like these proclamations:

“That’s it, I’m done. Religion is for the stupid misguided. I want nothing to do with it, I’m bugging out.”

Which made me realize this reality: Judaism is what we make of it.  As everything else in life, we choose to enjoy it or hate it, to celebrate it or begrudge it, to be enlightened by it or become despondent because of it.  If it is one thing we can learn from this holiday it is this: We are a people with the right to choose.  If we’ve been hurt by it, we may decide to become disheartened.  If it has worked for us, then we might take the other attitude, but ultimately it is our own choice how we decide to celebrate Passover which arrives on March 29th whether we like it or not. 

We have the right to decide that we are going to take ownership of it on our own terms, without any one else’s misguided agenda even if we wake up from childhood nightmares of screaming matches over dining room tables where red beet juice has been hauled at one another during a family reunion gone bad.  What if we learn to find the excitement and opportunity in it, rather than the exhausting feeling of guilt that as a result of us not celebrating because we don’t know how, or celebrating because of other’s expectations, or resentfully celebrating because we don’t know how else not to, we take ownership of it and seize the opportunity?

This is the one time in the year we have the opening to tap into “FREE” energy.  Its as if the Divine Spirit opened a portal to the acknowledgment that we have a right to fight for equality and justice.  This is the holiday that celebrates a moral code of right between wrong, of principles and human values that all men are created equal and that no one has the right to enslave another for his own power trip. We are all free people.

This was the event in history that determined future conflicts escalating over human rights with myriads of wars and many new regimes all struggling to become the head of human empowerment throughout the years.

This very holiday is the answer to the world that democracy is the only choice.  This holiday that we share bitter herbs to remind us of the pain we’ve endured to get to this free day, Matzoh to remind us of the Jewish people’s rush to reclaim their freedom, and the Pascal Lamb to remind us of the attitude of gratitude we must have for G-d lifting us out of the torturous Egyptian hell with his might and fury and miracles is the one holiday we should relish in partaking in.  And not just because it is the coolest story in history, but because it is our story and our contribution to humanity. Whether we are orthodox or not, we all have the right to be grateful and to participate in the narrative of liberation, independence, and the right to choose sanctity over corruption.

And to my friend who prompted this essay and was brave enough to ask this question….keep asking your questions, you have a right to them. 

Oh, and Seder’s at 8.

2 Comments — Leave your comment

March 23, 2010 | 4:51 pm

Today’s Greed Is Just A Lick Away

Posted by Chava Tombosky

Today I checked Google for inspiration. Here’s what comes up as the latest and greatest interests of our world today:
1. A trader at London office of hedge fund is among those arrested in what authorities describe as a massive insider-trading scheme. The founder’s name? Louis Moore Bacon (ironic)
2. A former teen beauty queen who appeared on the ABC reality comedy Wife Swap more than two years ago has filed a $100 million lawsuit against the network, which she accuses of ruining her life by inaccurately portraying her as a spoiled brat. (also ironic)
3.It’s once again Ben & Jerry’s Free Cone Day.
4. Sprint is introducing its brand new touchscreen supersonic smartphone today.

What do these events have in common?  One billionaire is getting sued for being too greedy. One greedy girl is suing to become a billionaire, and the rest of the nation is standing in line while they greedily await FREE ice cream as they witness the madness while discussing their envy of other’s greed on their new SUPERSONIC SPRINT phones.

The only question I have is this: chocolate or vanilla?

0 Comments — Leave your comment

March 23, 2010 | 4:45 pm

“Momentary Pleasure”

Posted by Chava Tombosky

We have become a world filled with the expectations of getting all that we want in a moment.  Recently I spent the day with an eighty seven year old World War 2 vet. He had no idea what text messaging or internet was at all.  He thinks the world still operates on rotary telephones and fax machines. This conversation could have potentially jolted me back into thinking our new way of communicating is sick, disturbing, and may need an elderly’s perspective to get ourselves on track again.  At least that’s what I was hoping for. 

“You mean all you have to do to communicate with someone is push a button, and they instantaneously receive your message?” 

“Yes,”  I said. 

“And does everyone do this?”

“Yes,” I said.

To which he responded:

“You know, what ever happened to the good old days when you bumped into someone and said hello, how are you? Everyone’s forgetting how to talk to each other. We’ve become a people who can’t handle ourselves in social situations.”

“Yes,” I said.

“Do you have one of these devices?”

“Yes,” I said.

He then shook his head looking disappointed in humanity.  Clearly perplexed by this sick instantaneous pleasure our younger generation has become accustomed to- he replied:

“Can you get me one?”

0 Comments — Leave your comment

March 19, 2010 | 6:47 pm

Friday Food Day…...Converting Our Conscience

Posted by Chava Tombosky

This week’s Friday Food Day is dedicated to a dear friend who took her last step into becoming a Jewess.  She took her final dip in the Mikvah, promised to die for the Torah, swear to send her kids to Jewish day school, and never celebrate Halloween again.  No more cheeseburgers, shrimp scampi, or Red Lobster for her.

This right of passage was not an easy journey.  She spent years studying, practicing, learning and finding a way to connect with a group who’s collective consciousness echos years of tyrannical abuse, decades of mother’s guilt, and centuries of prejudicial racial isolation.  She has sworn to uphold 606 more laws than the mere 7 she was born into giving her a total of 613 do’s and don’t to live her life by.  I often wonder, what would bring a person to change their entire lifestyle willingly and adhere to a strict diet voluntarily?  (obviously it’s not for the food).  Maybe there is a greater lesson we can glean from this woman’s journey that will help us get a glimpse of why she chose this sometimes seemingly challenging lifestyle.

For the past several weeks, since she had made her Mikvah date, this woman has had a plastered smile on her face radiating joy, jubilation, and triumph over her accomplishments and her impending evolution.  Last night, after her dip, she was embraced by a halo as her face glowed with a sense of purpose, a clear defined path, and a sincere feeling that she belongs to a group who has sworn to be the conscience of the world. 

A young woman once approached me with this honest question:

“How can I be the conscience of the world, if I am haunted with resentments towards human beings that ruthlessly slaughtered my grandfather’s family in Nazi Germany?”

One woman has yet to find her conscience and the other has worked forty years to hear it speak to her.  The woman who converted will teach a profound lesson to those of us born to Jewish women.  The new convert will teach us to let go of our past and to honor our future. Just as she spent the last forty years taking one baby step at a time towards her ultimate goal, so must we put one foot in front of the other in realizing our potential.  Just as she will spend every day getting to know her new role as a Jewish woman and honor it with vitality and excitement, so can we do the same. 

Every one of us has a past. Some of us use our past as an excuse, while others use it as a springboard to create contributions that are meaningful and worthwhile.  The convert may not share the same depth of emotional scarring as the young descendent who’s family was senselessly murdered, but the gift she does carry is the ability to inspire those who have been affected by the ghosts of their past because she chose to be part of a perplexing collective history that now defines her as well. The convert has the ability to expose the light we need without the baggage, and with a new untainted perspective we all yearn to have in our lives.

This woman who has converted, who has sworn off bacon, ham sandwiches, and clams will be the person who reminds the rest of us how sacred and holy our mission is, how blessed we are to be born into the very confusing, and sometimes frustrating journey she has faught so hard to join, and why? Because she too wanted the mission of being the conscience of the world. 

1 Comments — Leave your comment

March 18, 2010 | 2:31 pm

O.C.D Passover Cleaning

Posted by Chava Tombosky

Recently a friend called to tell me her housekeeper mistakenly dumped all her hanging clothes on her bed and attempted to wash the walls of her closet in an effort to help clean her house for Passover.  It reminded me of a saying my mother-in-law reiterates every year before this holiday- “Dirt is not Chametz.”**

I’m all for cleaning the house. I regularly organize, sift, throw out and heave in order to keep my house tidy.  But cleaning the house for Passover can be taken to a whole new level for over compulsive cleaners who are challenged with the Jewish “I don’t want to make a mistake” syndrome.

Although I advocate cleaning the house thoroughly, there might be a few places that we assume to have bread that really would never ever and I mean NEVER have bread come near it’s circumference, and yet we may bring ourselves to the task of cleaning those areas once we’re on a roll. 

Here’s a top ten list of unnecessary chores we may have mistaken for “Passover cleaning”, vs “Spring cleaning.”

1. Hiring a cleaning crew to clean the windows.  (Good excuse to see through the windows after a bout of snow or rain has left a thick residue of soot, but really, I promise there are NO crumbs hiding between the windowpanes, unless your five year old regularly wipes the windows with his graham cracker crusty hands.)

2. Cleaning out the fireplace. (Last I recall I didn’t serve sandwiches inside the chimney. For those who roast marshmallows regularly, this chore should still apply.)

3. Sweeping the rooftop.  (Need I say more?)

4. Refreshing indoor plants with new topsoil.  (This will help your foliage but will not change your chametz status unless you use your plant pots to bake bread pudding.)

5. Refinishing furniture (Now you’re just being compulsive.)

6. Tossing out newspapers and mail. (Unless you’ve gotten a Yeshiva newsletter that has sent you several letters with honey cake attached before Rosh Hashanah.)

7. Cleaning out the toilets. (This should be done because you are human, not just in honor of Passover.)

8. Changing the light bulbs. (This should be done before Passover to help you find the crumbs hidden between your tennis shoes, hairbrushes, and armoires just incase you have eaten snacks while exercising at the gym, styling your hair, or assembling your latest Ikea purchase.)

9. Washing the curtains. (I regularly use my curtains as tablecloths- you?)

10. Steaming the TV screen.  (You never know. Those who sit too close to the TV while inhaling their popcorn, chips, or taco snacks could have flicked their chametz onto the flat screen. For those who sit at an appropriate distance, this would apply as excessive Passover cleaning, vs appropriate spring-cleaning.)

For those of you who still insist on getting to these chores before Passover, no judgement will be cast by the rest of us heathens who are too lazy.

*a saying my mother-in-law got from the very wise and pious Rebbetzin Miriam Nadoff ob"d from Pittsburgh
** Chametz- A hebrew word meaning “bread”.

1 Comments — Leave your comment

March 17, 2010 | 1:18 am

Decoration Seder Plate

Posted by Chava Tombosky

I have a beef with websites that promise to deliver a wide range of decorations for EVERY occasion and don’t deliver to the one religious sect that has a holiday every five point two seconds.  Us Jews could support Oriental Trading Company alone if they would deliver decent table décor tailored for our holidays.  I’ve scanned Google in search of the best Passover knickknacks for my table and so far all I’ve come up with to re-enact the blood plague, was a pair of glow in the dark teeth, a vampire bat to hang from the ceiling, and a red ink pen that looks like an injection needle.  Cute, but I can’t give out pens on a holiday where writing is forbidden during the Seder.  They did carry a bag of blood sour candy, but of course that is trafe- and “chametz”.  (Bread friendly- a no-no on Passover). 

Is it too much to ask for a set of a dozen slaying of the first born fuzzy creatures?  Could you imagine if Oriental Trading Company had a section for every Jewish holiday with innovative ornaments for our Martha Stewart table topping pleasure?  I’d like to see them make glow sticks that say “Yom Kippur- don’t eat!”  What about Shavuot? That holiday always gets jipped.  Most people don’t remember that it is in June, we eat cheesecake, and it celebrates the giving of the Torah.  Is it too much to ask for a set of napkins and matching paper plates with blintzes and cheesecake engraved? 

Chanukah seems to be the only holiday with an array of decorative items for our buying pleasure.  But who picked blue?  What if I want an android green and amber color theme? What do I do then?  And I love the Jewish star. Who doesn’t like the Jewish star- but must we always be stuck with that symbol for our cups and table runners?  What about other symbols like the Moses staff?  I’d like a teal set of platters with a Moses staff printed in the middle.  You know, just to mix things up.

If I sold Jew party themed packs, I’d have the Tabernacle mint tins, Matzo and Morror flavored party suckers, and neon bottles that blow bubbles in the shape of shofars.  I’d sell fuchsia Mylar balloons that look like Seder plates. I’d have goody bags with a list of all the 613 laws as handouts.  Who’s up for a luau themed draidle party?  Wouldn’t it be nice to buy Hawaiian style paper goods that say Happy Chanukah.

Oriental Trading did have a variety of frogs and bugs to represent some of the plagues for my decoration Seder fest.  I may make red punch for the blood, and re-enact the slaying with the one guy who shows up late, just to keep things interesting. We can even eat dessert with the lights out to remind us of the darkness plague.  I still need to figure out how I’m going to depict lice.  That may be a hard one. As for my Seder centerpieces?  We’re going with the traditional Seder plate, but I did get the kids coloring in Passover themed placemats that I plan on laminating.  They’ve colored two. Only 28 more to go! We’re hiring an actor to walk around with a staff, and my kids are filling the wild animal printed goody bags with a remedy bottle for your run of the mill boil out break.  I chose tasteful colors. Not blue. And I managed to find matzo blow up balls for a round of toss the matzo ball during the soup course.

I think I am being pretty innovative this year, but I still have a beef with decoration companies that promise to carry décor for EVERY occasion.  Instead, they should say “we carry décor for some occasions, mainly not Jewish ones, unless your favorite color is blue and you don’t mind using Chanukah themed party plates for every occasion, including your Tishabav themed fast party, than we’re a one stop shop.”

4 Comments — Leave your comment