Posted by Chava Tombosky
This week I woke up to find my highly coveted “Nespresso Machine” not working!
This is the machine that promised instant caffeinated results in seconds, that calibrated each cup perfectly, that warmed up instantaneously, that cost as much as my sofa, and yet I pushed the button and the amount of coffee that filled my coffee cup looked like a parched left-over puddle after a bad drought.
Panic ensued. Thoughts of rushing to the store with my machine in hand and a dialogue starting with “what kind of a _ _ _ _ machine is this?” circled in my head. The lecture was building with erratic speed. ‘ Course it didn’t help that I hadn’t had my shot of caffeine.
My to-do list looked like it would be disrupted by a run at the mall with my box, the machine, the warranty, and my lecture. How much time could I possibly waste- Oh My G-d what if I need to return the machine and wait for it to be repaired? That would mean our Nespresso machine would be on hiatus. What brand new coffee machine do you know takes a sabbatical? If it’s one thing I can’t stand it’s unreliability.
I am already agitated by the thought that this purchase could have been more hassle then it was worth.
My husband senses my panic. I look like a heroine addict needing her fix. He tells me chill, calm down, think deliberately and call the emergency Nespresso 800 number that is posted on the fridge.
I make the call, ready to berate the customer service man with a rebuke comparable to Moses’ lecture to the Jews upon the witness of the Golden Calf. Until I am surprised, delighted, and gleefully basking in the sun of my Nespresso’s dependability upon hearing that all I need to do to reset the calibration of my espresso is turn the machine off, push the button a few times, keep the button pressed for thirty seconds and then VOILA! My morning cap is finally achieved.
Aaaah, I am thrilled to report the dependability of this kitchen gadget is still my obsession. I have made a new friend at 1-800-nespresso, have recorded his information on my laptop, facebook, contact list, blackberry notes, and have made him number one on my speed dial. Thanks to Shawn extension 1432, my sanity and faith in humanity is restored.
4.11.13 at 9:59 pm |
3.10.13 at 11:38 pm | Next week I kept telling myself. Next week I will. . .
2.7.13 at 9:55 pm | “You know, there is one other wine in the house. . .
1.21.13 at 12:58 am | One of our generation's biggest problems is the. . .
12.21.12 at 12:23 pm | ....immersing ourselves in this tragic news. . .
11.14.12 at 5:17 pm | Do our negative thoughts and fears have the power. . .
4.11.13 at 9:59 pm | (14)
10.21.10 at 12:17 am | She doesn't save a thing...... (5)
9.22.10 at 6:34 pm | Lucky for us, we don’t have to wait a year to. . . (5)
March 8, 2010 | 11:05 pm
Posted by Chava Tombosky
What is Bikram Yoga?
A: A yoga class that runs approximately 90 minutes, incorporates a series of 26 postures and 2 breathing exercises, and is ideally practiced in a room heated to 105°F (40.5°C) with a humidity of 40%.
What is coconut water?
A: A drink with five essential electrolytes, more potassium than a banana, low acidity, no fat, no sugar added, and no cholesterol, coconut water is the best and most natural, refreshing way to hydrate and replenish.
And what does Bikram Yoga and Coconut water have in common?
1. It is common for beginners to experience dizziness and nausea after both.
2. It takes immense amounts of focus and discipline to finish either.
3. There is much controversy as to whether or not performing strenuous exercise in a room over 100 degrees is safe. Likewise, there is much controversy whether drinking a disgusting drink like coconut water in any room is safe.
4. Blood circulation is affected immensely during Bikram Yoga because of two processes called extension and compression. The body is stretching or compressing a certain part of the body, thus cutting off circulation temporarily. Sort of how you feel when you drink coconut water.
5. The pumping of excess, fresh blood is called extension. Once the asana is complete and the individual comes out of the posture, the new oxygenated blood is able to rejuvenate the arteries that were being compressed. Because of the volume change and influx of fresh blood, it is said that infection, bacteria, and toxins can be released through this process….. Likewise, toxins released in the process of inhaling coconut water is the vomit that is hurled out of your body upon the eight dollar, super vulgar, highly over rated, non caffeinated, non tasting, non enjoyable beverage that isn’t the least bit refreshing at all.
I just bought a case at Costco.
Think I could use a syringe to insert the sports drink instead?
March 7, 2010 | 1:59 am
Posted by Chava Tombosky
List of things I plan on changing or making better this year:
1. All my towels are crusty. I need new ones. Tj Maxx better have a good sale.
2. Stop writing cheesy lines like: “Years ago I heard a caller chime into the Dr. Laura program complaining about a girlfriend….” Did I actually just quote Dr. Laura on my blog? No wonder I only get 200 readers a day- I suck.
3. Work on self- esteem.
4. Buy a pair of Ray Bans to avoid eye cancer and look cool at the same time. (This may help w #3)
5. Eat flaxseed daily. (My cousin’s a nutritionist and told me it will help with hunger pangs. So far I’m still craving all of aisle four in the supermarket.)
6. Get a spray tan. (I’m a little afraid of wasting away in a white glaze of sorrowful pasty Goth that could be confused with a low blood count and writing indoors for several hours hinting to not having a life. Am I nervous about standing naked in front of a powerful sprayer inside a small airless cramped booth while inhaling the fumes? Oh G-d yes. Yes I am. But as Aunty Rose always said, “Beauty takes pain”.)
7. Make an appointment with the therapist to get over being in small spaces.
8. Stop writing shallow lines like “beauty takes pain.” Stop being shallow.
9. Buy a dairy pot big enough to make onion soup. Get recipe for onion soup.
10. Take on an art project like refinishing my dining room chairs. Oh who am I kidding?
11. Replace hot dog night with vegan night. (So not gonna happen.)
12. Buy a new crock-pot, since the old one just exploded in the plug socket. Not good.
13. Take one day at a time. Live, love, laugh. Have an attitude of gratitude. Let go or be dragged. Basically, work on collecting as many Alanon and AA quotes so I don’t forget how to be normal.
14. Get normal.
15. Buy more paper for my purse. Get a new pen.
16. Compliment husband more.
17. Try not to glaze over when one of my children decides to share their long school stories that don’t really have a beginning middle or end.
18. Watch Avatar in the theater because if I don’t I may have missed a monumental 3D occasion. (I don’t really have a desire; this is more out of obligation than anything else. Three hours of sitting with glasses while floating in another world, which could start up a bout of vertigo is just so unappealing when the other theater has a another flick playing with a lot less commitment. I show up to the theater think about going, know it is my screenwriting obligation but just can’t bring myself to buy a ticket. Why? Why? Maybe if I brought a tub of ice cream with I’d be more inclined.)
19. Buy ice cream.
20. Buy, rent, or just do something with my house that will require having a little more stability in my life. (Geeze, I sound like a person who lives in a box on the blvd.)
21. Make amends to Dr. Laura.
March 5, 2010 | 6:45 pm
Posted by Chava Tombosky
Normally Friday Food day is funny, entertaining, and pithy. But today I am left with a more reflective attitude. For today, I had an experience that has left me contemplative and introspective. This morning after cooking my Shabbos meal, I got dressed and headed to my aunt’s house to see my uncle who is quite ill. Unfortunately, my cousin called me this week with the news that his illness has taken a turn for the worse and suggested I come for a visit.
Upon turning the bend up to my aunt and uncle’s home one is struck with the beauty of their garden that surrounds their entire abode. The scent of lavender, anise plants, basil leaves and rosemary covers the ground. Their pride and joy has always been their magnificent fruit trees. Pomegranates, tomatoes, figs, dates, blood oranges, key limes, Meyer lemons, you name it, they have it growing. My uncle’s garden has always been his pride and joy.
My cousin took me through the garden and allowed me to pick their magnificent fruit and fragrant herbs. As we picked the oranges off the tree we remembered our shared childhood experience of picking the many oranges, tangerines, and lemons that scattered our great grandparents’ garden. Nothing was more fun than going to Grandma and Grandpa’s for a fruit picking fest and nothing bonded us more when we were children as it bonded us again today.
There is something special about the legacy my uncle will leave behind. When he moved in all that surrounded their house was a dirt path. But with a little love and care, my uncle and aunt managed to create one of the most impressive home grown organic gardens in all of Thousand Oaks.
The memories shared around the dinner table over delicious kumquats and berry pie is what life is truly about. While you are gathered together tonight around your Friday night tables, be grateful for the bounty you have gathered to partake in, and know that each good deed, every seed that is planted, metaphorically speaking or physically speaking is the very legacy we all leave behind to nourish the world even in our absence.
I think I may go buy a plant.
March 4, 2010 | 9:37 pm
Posted by Chava Tombosky
Scientists are speculating that the Feb. 27 magnitude 8.8 earthquake in Chile may have shortened the length of an Earth day.
“JPL research scientist Richard Gross computed how Earth’s rotation should have changed as a result of the Feb. 27 quake. Using a complex model, he and fellow scientists came up with a preliminary calculation that the quake should have shortened the length of an Earth day by about 1.26 microseconds (one millionth of a second). By comparison, Gross said the same model estimated the 2004 magnitude 9.1 Sumatran earthquake should have shortened the length of day by 6.8 microseconds.”
This means as a result of the recent Chile earthquake and the 2004 Sumatran earthquake combined, there is a real possibility the human race could have lost 0.00000806 seconds of human time!
I have recently learned in a beautiful class given by Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Jacobson a particular lesson that has given me great insight into the mystical ideas of understanding the lesson that can be gleamed by this phenomenon.
In Rabbi Jacobson’s latest class that can be seen on yeshiva.net**, he comments on the rules of a kosher Torah scroll. In order for a Torah scroll to be kosher, each letter must be surrounded by white space. If any letter is connecting, it is not deemed as a kosher Torah. What is the lesson we can learn from this particular specific law?
Rabbi Jacobson went on to explain that Chassidic mysticism describes two kinds of energy that the world exists on, “Ohr Pnimi” and “Ohr Makif”. “ Ohr Pnimi is a tangible energy that is internalized within the consciousness of a person. Ohr Makif is a more intense and powerful energy that encircles and encompasses the person, but can’t be assimilated or integrated with in the parameters of the human consciousness. “
Ohr pnimi represents the tangible letters on the page of the parchment. The letters turn into versus which turn into paragraphs, concepts, and laws that eventually tell us the Judaic story. We can see it, feel it, touch it, and taste it. It is the Matzah we are commanded to eat on Passover, the huts we are asked to build on Sukkot, or the leather phylacteries men wear daily to connect to their Higher Power.
Ohr Makif, on the other hand, is the energy that encircles us but remains hidden to our consciousness. It is an energy many of us never have a chance of getting acquainted with. It is the energy that represents the blank space on the page between each letter in the Torah. It is a powerful energy that tells us the history of our connection with the Divine. It is a mystery that creates an eternal bond even more powerful than the words themselves.
Have you ever seen a sheet of music? There are five bars and each bar is separated by a space. You would think that only the dark line that represents the bar has the ability of becoming a note. But the space is just as important. It too, can have a note that plays a sound and each space is called by these particular notes: F, A, C, & E. How interesting it is that the very space that would seem blank and empty has the notes that make up the word “Face”. Could it be that music is trying to give us the biggest hint into our Divine experience? Could it be that this particular idea of Ohr Makif and the subconscious energy that exists in clean blank space is the actual “Face” of G-d?
I don’t think it’s by chance the human experience that lead to the savior of so many people’s rescue was the remaking and selling of a song entitled “We are the world.”
When we lost time last week, there was a void. The entire world was given a revelation. Maybe the fact that our world was “shaken to its core” and devoid of 0.00000806 seconds of actual time is G-d’s way of showing us his “face”. In a world that constantly questions his existence, he was saying I have the power to stir the sea, quake the earth, and even control time. For the first time in history, not since the Jews left Egypt, G-d has shared with us his awesome power over time and space.
Is it any more relevant that this Power is being revealed to us between Purim and Passover? Purim represents the ability to see things in hindsight. The miracles were consistently hidden (hence the name of Esther means hidden) to tell us that all of life’s experiences are there for a reason. Sometimes we don’t know the reason, but we can look back in hindsight and see that each event was perfectly orchestrated, perfectly planned, and indeed a gift.
Passover represents the revealed miracle. It is a time when we had the opportunity to see nature change completely and be altered for the sake of the Jewish people becoming the nation they are today, a nation created for the sake of becoming the world’s conscience.
And yet, it is this time of year between two awesome miraculous holidays that we received G-d’s awesome might and fury and experienced once again his awesome power. Many lives were lost, people were displaced, and tragedy has struck the world two times in a row. Seemingly this feels as though it is the worst experience that could hit the world. But if we don’t try to make sense of it by realizing that there is a greater plan, a greater lesson, a greater revelation, than the lives that were lost, the many people who were disrupted could all be in vain.
What has happened as a result of these tragedies combined? The world over has showed the power of community by helping their fellow man through fundraising efforts, medical aid, and collective music. We are filling in that void, and recognizing the gap. We are finally seeing the space of G-d. We are finally recognizing his face through our own deeds and through our own G-d given power. The lesson of these tragedies is what we do with it. As in any tragedy, personal or global, if we don’t find a way to create the space for our own sub consciousness to evolve, we have indeed lost more than what comes from the tragedy itself, we have lost the opportunity to transform because of it.
**To view the entire class go to: http://www.theyeshiva.net/
March 1, 2010 | 8:26 pm
Posted by Chava Tombosky
Son: I feel really lucky to be Jewish.
Son: Purim is so much better then Halloween!
Me: Why do you say that?
Son: On Halloween you have to go door to door to collect your stash of candy, but if you’re Jewish and celebrate Purim, they bring the candy to you. No walkin around the neighborhood to get your stash. Room service is so much better!