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August 18, 2009 | 6:42 pm

When Will the Slander End?

Posted by Rav Yosef Kanefsky

A few weeks ago I officiated at a wedding. The bride was a giyyoret (a convert to Judaism), and the couple had requested that the honor of reading the ketuba under the chuppah be given to the bride’s teacher. Her teacher was truly her rebbe muvhak, the teacher from whom she had learned the great majority of her Torah knowledge, and from whom she had learned how to practice Judaism. Naturally I agreed, and we proceeded accordingly.

As could be expected after many years of Talmud study, the rebbe read the Aramaic text flawlessly. The bride glowed with joy and appreciation. It was a magical moment within an already magical day.

Most Orthodox rabbis would not have allowed this rebbe to read this ketuba. Because in this case, the rebbe was a woman. 

Halacha, as our community practices it, excludes women from a variety of public ritual roles. But reading the ketuba happens not to be one of them. Rabbis who have written in opposition to women reading the ketuba invariably open their arguments by acknowledging precisely this point. As one scholarly detractor has written, “If one judges the issue from the perspective of the laws of the marriage ceremony, there’s nothing wrong … The marriage would be one hundred percent valid”. Yet, he and many others would have said “no” in this case.

On what grounds? For one scholar, a woman reading the ketuba violates the laws of personal modesty. But is the reading of a ketuba less modest than teaching a class, or addressing a professional gathering? The latter are activities in which perfectly modest women engage in regularly today. For another scholar the issue is not modesty, but tradition. “Tradition possesses its own power, and why should we deviate from tradition for no purpose?”.  But why would anyone assume that a particular women is being chosen to read the ketuba “for no purpose”? Have you ever been at a wedding and thought to yourself that the man who is reading the ketuba was chosen by the couple “for no purpose”?

But it is actually a third objection to a women reading the ketuba that seems to have the most currency. Put forward by numerous rabbinic writers in a variety of contexts, it declares that whenever Orthodox women perform ritual practices that are traditionally associated with men, their motivation is invariably subversive. Women who read a ketuba (or who recite Kiddush or HaMotzi at the Shabbat table, or who take a lulav, or who wear a tallit when they daven) are invariably engaged in an act of religious disobedience, cynically utilizing religious practice as a means of expressing their rebellion against perceived unfairness or injustice in Orthodox life. Thus, not only do their acts lack religious value, they actually constitute sin. 

There are, of course, several things wrong with this way of thinking. For starters, there’s the astonishing implicit assertion that the seeking of fairness and justice are to be regarded as acts of religious rebellion. But beyond this, the very essence of the argument constitutes an outrageous act of slander against thousands of Orthodox women. They are rebelling?? Is there any lack of fully egalitarian Jewish movements that are open to women who want out of Orthodoxy or out of Halacha? Surely not. But these women have not bolted Orthodoxy. They are engaged in a campaign of religious disobedience?? Are Orthodox women who read ketubot, recite Kiddush and lain in women’s tefilla groups not observing Kashrut? Or Shabbat? Or the laws of Niddah? We are forbidden by halacha to be suspicious of the upright. How is it conceivable to causally, unthinkingly condemn thousands of pious women as being subversive religious rebels? And for how long will so many of us stand by as this slander continues to shape Orthodox practice?

The woman who read the ketuba at the wedding described above happens to be my wife, a profoundly religious woman, a role model, an inspiration, a lifelong Jewish educator. She is a person who believes in fairness and justice, and who wants to leave a fairer and more just Orthodoxy to the girls and women who will follow her. And there are so many Orthodox women like her in these respects, heroes of our generation, who, in addition to all of their other attributes, are wise enough to not be dissuaded by baseless slander, no matter where it originates.  They deserve our support.

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Attaboy, Rabbi Kanevsky!  Those Neanderthals who object to a woman (in this case your wife who is also the Hebrew teacher of the Kallah convert), reading a ketuba as well as performing other religious rites, are IMHO, not that different from their counterparts in other religions (or belief systems as I call them).

Now, are you ready for the next step?  A female Othodox rabbi?  It’s coming, for sure, so get ahead of the curve.

Comment by Pace on 9/10/09 at 2:32 am

What more can really be said? What an eloquent and touching defense of the thousands of Orthodox women seeking a stronger and more personally meaningful connection to G-d and to the Jewish community.
So many of us have become hardened and calloused by the thoughtless remarks, suspicion and judgmentalism that seem to greet our efforts. At times you don’t even notice anymore when you’re being criticized. What a great perspective. Thank you!

Comment by BAT SHEVA MARCUS on 11/12/09 at 5:29 pm

What a wonderful article—and how heartening to read this in a week when all my friends seem to be reporting instance after instance of the silencing or ignoring of Orthodox women’s concerns and aspirations. The picture for Modern Orthodox women in the UK is not encouraging—but to read these words of sanity and sincerity gives me renewed help and inspiration to continue in seeking for greater understanding and tolerance in this community. Thank you!

Comment by Lindsey Taylor-Guthartz on 11/12/09 at 5:56 pm

I don’t like to put labels on my Judaism, but over the years my Conservative friends have sometimes called me Orthodox while my Orthodox friends have called me Conservative.  My ideal goal is to be a Jew whose lives an halachic life. With respect to the status of women in Judaism I’m somewhere on a narrow bridge with Rabbi Kanofsky and his approach is on one side and Rabbi Joel Roth of JTSA and his approach on the other.  As someone who returned to Judaism from a very secular life I’ve tried to use knowledge and practice, and reasoning and yes, emotion, to guide me to a halachic life.  During this journey, and especially because we were blessed with three daughters, the “women’s role” issue has been quite important and ended up as one of my litmus tests for a credible halachically based approach.  The rejectionist approach dominating Orthodoxy and described by Rabbi Kanofsky has always created a major theoretical and practical barrier to my embracing Orthodoxy.  If Orthodox authorities can denounce a women reading the Ketubah, and other theoretically permissible activities, then how can one know which of their other rulings are not also dominated by similar non halachic (and will all due respect, to me grossly incorrect) rulings.  To me this is the other side of the coin of such Conservative rulings as allowing driving to shul on Shabbat.  Many Orthodox authorities reject what seems to be clearly allowable, while many Conservative authorities accept what seems to be clearly forbidden.  Sometimes to forbid what is allowable and worthwhile is just as bad as allowing what is forbidden even if for worthwhile ends —- both approaches severely weaken the credibility of the authorities promulgating the system and truly place “stumbling blocks” before folks such as myself as we try to live by and find the truth embedded in the halachic system – and try to find credible teachers and authorities and avoid the picking and choosing that is our default position.

Shabbat Sholom

Comment by Robert Smith on 11/13/09 at 9:06 am

Great article.  Yet, why limit its reach to when Orthodox women perform these mitzvot?  My wife is a Conservative Jew who has taken upon herself the mitzva of tzitzit and has heard the “impurity of intention” argument from several Orthodox critics.  Not only Orthodox women are reaching into traditionally male mitzvot for fulfillment and devekus (and not out of a misplaced sense of rebellion).  That our community is more receptive of these women and their actions does not exclude them from being of pure intention.

Comment by Juan on 11/15/09 at 5:24 am

Thanks for the sensitively written, compassionate and reflective essay. Indeed, the backlash of those who would rather cast women , frum and not, into the purda of silent obedience and relegate us back to pre-literate times, is of great concern.

The harmony of women learning, teaching and acting with steadfastness to Torah, as exemplified in the actions of this rebbe muvhak, illustrates the dilemmas her actions presented to those who would prefer to adhere to models Jewish life that are at best nostalgic and at worst, rend half of the Jewish people invisible and mute.
The future of our people depends on the the commitment to learning and positive acts of women as well as men in both private and communal settings.

Comment by Lis Shapiro on 11/15/09 at 6:49 pm

That was an amazing article in the simplicity, yet major significance, of what was said.

How do I sign up to receive notices of your articles?

Best,
Carolyn Hochstadter Dicker
Cherry Hill, NJ

Comment by Carolyn Hochstadter Dicker on 11/16/09 at 7:57 am

Re: When Will the Slander End.  This was an excellent reminder by Rabbi Kanefsky that Orthodox Judaism does not mean 16th or 18th century Judaism.  We need more rabbis in our communities with the sane outlook and knowledge of true Orthodox Judaism exhibited by Rabbi Kanefsky. Unfortunately, there are too few who aren’t afraid of the right-wing reactionary backlash from their rabbinical colleagues.  While New York and Israel do have numerous Orthodox synagogues and Orthodox rabbis who are willing to include women as part of the community, the dearth of such rabbis and Modern Orthodox synagogues in Los Angeles is shocking. If only we could clone Rabbi Kanefsky and his courage!

Comment by alexandra leichter on 11/18/09 at 2:22 pm

Beautifully put. Thank you on behalf of so many…

Comment by Shoshana Razel Gordon Guedalia on 11/19/09 at 11:04 am

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