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March 17, 2010 | 1:30 pm

Internet & Dating: Tips from Expert Julie Spira [VIDEO] + Tech “Diss”-course

Posted by Ryan Torok

Melanie, our multimedia reporter, and I went to see Julie Spira. She’s a cyber-dating expert (still searching for her own love) and author of “The Perils of Cyber Dating.” The book suggests that while online dating occasionally leads to awful experiences, keep the hope alive: Love can be found online.

In a video, edited by Melanie, which you can watch below, Spira offers tips on how to date online, successfully. I’ll let the video speak for itself. For now I’m interested in getting over-analytical about something Spira said during the interview.

Spira, who has been using online-dating websites for over twenty years, has this huge web presence. She uses online tools like Facebook and Twitter to promote an online company, cyberdatingexpert.com. 

Melanie said it best in a recent Gchat conversation: “Spira has embraced and turned to the internet for her 2nd life.”

Hmm… Spira did say that the people who aren’t using Facebook, Twitter and posting videos of themselves on YouTube, are “missing out.”

Reinforcing that we have cool jobs, Melanie and I, during work hours, talked more about this. We did it over Gchat, while sitting at our cubicles, which are only a few feet away from each other. These are a couple of words Melanie introduced to me.

1. Luddite -  “People who will live their life on a daily basis,” said Melanie.  “They won’t search through Craigslist for housing or jobs. They won’t seek possibilities via the internet. They don’t think about where they could be, or what else they could be doing. They think about the here and now.”

Apparently, Melanie had dated a guy like this. He actually sounded like a bit of a jackass.

2. FOMO – This is an acronym that Melanie came up with. It stands for “fear of missing out.” She offered the idea that people spend all day online out of fear of what they might be missing on – because the internet is a means for them to actively seek, albeit voyeuristically, further possibilities of what their life could be (vacations, friends, connections, images, job listings…).

FOMO is also a reason I feel compelled on a Friday night, even if I am exhausted, to leave the house and go out for the evening.  Moreover, FOMO might compel someone to use an online dating site, feeling that they are missing out on their match if they don’t search through the internet.

Below is an excerpt from the conversation:

melanie: maybe we are fascinated by [Spira’s] inculcation into technology. there was something about her charisma.

[I didn’t say this in the conversation, but “inculcation” is quite the vocabulary word. I certainly didn’t know what it means. Way to go, Mel!]

ryan: i wish julie would find somebody and get married

ryan: somebody she DIDNT meet online

melanie: haha

melanie: yeah

ryan: that would be ironic i think

melanie: i think ultimately that while the internet represents a means to actively pursuing more possibilities, it is ultimately disappointing

ryan: as is life

But, I guarantee you won’t be disappointed with Julie’s online dating tips [insert cheesy grin; hold camera steady]. Watch below:

28 Comments — Leave your comment

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Really?  What makes this chick an expert?  I think she is a a loon and while I’m all for giving it the college try, 20 years of trying would imply that perhaps she’s not an expert, so much as she is a kook.  Just saying.  Nice piece Ryan.

Ilana Angel
Keeping The Faith

Comment by Ilana Angel on 3/17/10 at 2:52 pm

Thanks for the fun article and video. Julie is so passionate about helping singles find love that I admire her energy. She is always tweeting and posting dating tips online. What I also love about Julie is that she supports other dating experts (like moi) by sharing their advice. Julie’s book is a fun read, and I definitely recommend it!

Comment by Liz Kelly on 3/20/10 at 3:19 pm

Sometimes you just have to wait, and let the great come to you. The less you’re looking at it, the better it will come ;p

Comment by Scrabble Cheat on 5/19/10 at 6:33 am

I just want to say that it is a very interesting article and must be a appreciated by all. One thing that amazing me that how we can date online? But now it is a new trend to date online.video is good. I will recommend this article to all my frends also.

Comment by Cash For Notes on 6/24/10 at 3:15 am

Nice article and video as well.
Julie Spira Pointsout nice points in video made me laugh too

Comment by Bollywood Movies on 6/26/10 at 12:49 am

Hi !
Julie is expert for everything she talking about.
Nice talks in video too.
For describing about Date is really cool…........

Comment by Pakistan Urdu Website on 6/30/10 at 6:34 am

You wrote very good Point for People who are on dating.
You are very known about your Profession and did a lot of research it is shown in your experience while you talk about such a small things which can be experience by after a long time
Best Regards.

Comment by nice jewelry deals on 7/12/10 at 5:11 am

Online dating fascinates me very much.I have heard about a lot on online dating.It is a new trend to date online.video is good. I will recommend this article to all my frends also.

Comment by No life Insurance on 7/15/10 at 6:37 am

Thank you everyone for your terrific comments. I’m glad that you found my online dating tips to be of great value. I wish you the best of luck in your search, and if you meet that special someone online, please do let me know.

http://Twitter.com/JulieSpira
http://Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert

Comment by Julie Spira on 8/18/10 at 2:28 am

Any advice would be helpful, especially from men and women who are dating or in a long term relationship, tell me what keeps the relationship strong.

Comment by online dating websites on 9/28/10 at 11:49 pm

I have always found that creating a “date night” ritual with your partner or mate is a simple way of keeping the relationship healthy. Take turns in deciding who makes the plan and make sure to honor that special evening every week.

Comment by Julie Spira on 10/23/10 at 5:39 pm

I find this is much more geared towards women. That’s cool, though.

Comment by Pink Ring on 10/26/10 at 6:12 pm

it can be applied for the men, too

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If you are a guy then you can use some male enlargement techniques.

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Comment by lloverxer g on 12/03/10 at 5:09 am

She is very right. I liked her views. Thanks for sharing a nice piece of information.

Comment by billy123 on 1/31/11 at 2:50 pm

I have had a lot of friends try the internet dating with no success but that doesnt mean it wont work

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Comment by DJ on 1/01/12 at 1:52 am

Thanks for sharing the information!
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Comment by maryjohn on 1/17/12 at 3:46 pm

Thank you for all of the comments. I’m glad that you’ve found this video helpful while looking for love online and welcome you to follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/juliespira and at http://facebook.com/cyberdatingexpert

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Comment by Your Accountant's Office on 2/07/12 at 3:53 am

Reinforcing that we have cool jobs, Melanie and I, during work hours, talked more about this. We did it over Gchat, while sitting at our cubicles, which are only a few feet away from each other. These are a couple of words Melanie introduced to me.
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Comment by kabila on 2/09/12 at 5:56 am

Julie Spira will be on Planet Love Match Radio this Thursday night!
http://blog.planetlovematch.com/post/Planet-Love-Match-Radio-Episode-24.aspx
Feel free to post this info on your site! She gives excellent online dating advice!

Comment by Michelle on 3/06/12 at 10:41 am

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