May 25, 2010
We all have them or have had them. They’re the ones that drive you crazy, that trigger you no matter how much you have resolved to stay calm and in control. And when you have decided quite emphatically that you are done, they’re the ones that keep pulling you back, sucking you into the same circular drama that never seems to end.
So why, and what is to be done about them, these impossible relationships?
Having had my fair share, I am firmly of the belief that an impossible relationship is not the kind you should run from. Chances are you will repeat the drama with someone else. No, these kinds of relationships have a very important hidden message, one that is the key to us making progress, moving forward, getting to the next level of our life. They show up, not because life is out to get us – the contrary. They are there for us to become the person we are meant to be, or at least a better, more whole version of ourselves.
Impossible relationships hold a piece of the puzzle of our inner selves, and when they show up the best response is to open up to change and new possibilities. Welcome the growth and then get on with the inner exploration needed to find your balance. If you take the position that the relationship is there to challenge you to become more whole, you will have the perspective you need to see behind the surface and understand that it’s not about what the other person did or didn’t do. It’s more likely all about you growing up, you honoring yourself, you valuing yourself, you doing what you need to do for you.
The secret to cracking the code of impossible relationships is to treat yourself the way you want the other person to treat you. Then and only then will you be able to successfully move on, or finally create a more healthy version of things.