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Hiatus Schmiatus

by Nikki Tabibian

July 29, 2014 | 12:13 pm

A message from the author:

My dearest readers and adoring fan (hey Grandma),

        When I began writing Le’chaim To Laughter, I was committed to documenting my memoires as a city gal with nothing but comic relief and hummus to help her get by. Yet, as I turned the page on high school and continued on to college, I was caught by a little paper cut called life.  Leaving Los Angeles and starting school in the Big Apple has gave me ample opportunities to contemplate the world’s wonders and calculate the perfect ratio of lox to bagel per bite, but left me with less time than anticipated to write down my misadventures. Thus, the following is an alphabetical list of distractions, deadlines, and self-made diagnoses that have contributed to my temporary hiatus from the keyboard:

1. ADDICTION: coming from a health-conscious home where foods with trans-fats were as elusive as the forbidden fruit, the abundantly available dollar pizza shops were overwhelming, to say the least. Though I’m proud to say that my gluten dependence is currently under control, I’m worried that without the support of my mother’s kale salad, I might  relapse.

2. BOYS: no explanation needed.


3. CHANNELING MY INNER COLUMBUS: not only was I lost in New York City’s grid, but with my internal compass eternally missing, it was my destiny to get lost and discover distant lands that were already inhabited…like Brooklyn.

4. DOCUMENTARY FILM THROUGH THE LENS OF CONTEMPORARY ART FINAL (yes, that is a class).


5. EXODUS: due to my roommates six a.m. alarm, a fire drill-inspired siren with a delightful clarinet interlude, I was forced to wander from class to class sleepless for what seemed like 40 years.  
6. FLATULENCE: caused by way too many

7. GARBANZO BEANS: an excellent source of protein and a fantastic way to get some privacy from your roomate.

8. HORRENDOUS HAIR SYNDROME: at least 45 minutes daily were devoted to battling the frizz and static that attacked my hair.


9. INSTAGRAM: countless hours went into photographing dishes, picking the perfect filter and scowling through literary archives (such as Kim Kardashian’s twitter page) to compose just the right caption.

10. MATH: calculating exactly how many layers to wear is a taxing and mostly unrewarding task that usually results in overheating… and the occasional frost bite.


11. MATERIAL: compiling the material to write these pieces took at least a year of escapades and moral conquests to keep you, my readers, properly entertained.

12. PROFESSORS: although my study and in class impersonations of my Sri-Lankan professor’s accent went unappreciated, it resulted in an inevitable re-write of two papers and lots and lots of butt kissing.


13. VERY IMPORTANT EDITING AND MAINTENANCE OF WWW.SNSVINTAGE.COM  (no, this is not self promotion…)

14. WEATHER: after migrating from Los Angeles’s 75-degree lows to New York City’s 57-degree highs, my seasonal depression turned into a yearlong cold.


15. YEAR-LONG PREPARATION FOR THE WORLD CUP: I began preparing my posters and cheers in late October.

      With these unfortunate interruptions momentarily gone, I have just enough time to record my tales of a schmuck in the city and to give you all a sincere and humble apology for my abrupt “gap year”. So here it is:

I’M SORRY.

And with that I’d like to say le’chaim to gap years, lists, and many more stories to come. Le’chaim to laughter---- have you laughed today?

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Inspired by the works of Sholom Aleichem and the guilt of her great grandmother Sara (may she rest in peace), Le’chaim to Laughter documents the daily struggle of a...

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