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July 11, 2011

Yoga, Jill Zarin, Jaycee Dugard & Missing My Son So Much It Hurts

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/yoga_jill_zarin_jaycee_dugard_missing_my_son_so_much_it_hurts_20110711/

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Jill Zarin

I took a two hour yoga class on Sunday.  It was a great class and I left feeling very calm and relaxed.  I learned a lot about the practice of yoga, and pushed myself physically, mentally, and emotionally.  It is amazing what emotions are felt if you listen to your own breathing.

Take five minutes to listen to the breath going in and out of your body.  Breathe deeply, and release it slowly.  Listen.  It’s quite great.  I took my class at Yogaworks in Tarzana. and I recommend it.  It’s new and beautiful and is attached to a Whole Foods with a wine bar.  Win win.

I write two blogs for The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles.  This one, Keeping The Faith, is about me, my life as a mother and a single woman, the world, and pop culture.  Basically I write about whatever I want.  My other blog is called Keeping It Real and it is about reality television.

I watch reality shows I like and recap them in an honest, and I like to think, funny way.  I write a lot about the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo.  I have been writing about the ladies of New York City.  It is a horrible show but I watch it, and am a little ashamed to say I love it.

There were a lot of comments on my last blog about the RHONYC.  I wrote that I liked Jill Zarin who is one of the featured women.  If you don’t watch the show, I won’t bore you with the details, but will share that Jill Zarin is a Jew.  That fact alone has inspired hate mail that is heartbreaking.

When I wrote I liked her, people responded that the only reason I liked her, was because she was Jewish, and “dirty Jews” stay together.  She was not referred to as Jill Zarin, but rather Jill the Jew.  It made me sad and, sucked the peace out of my yoga practice.

I wonder if there will ever be a day when Jews are not attacked simply for being Jewish.  I write about a lot of things, and push a lot of buttons, and whenever someone does not agree with me, my opinion is useless because I am Jewish.  I am judged by my faith, which is crushing.

So now I’m pissed off, heartbroken, not at all calm and relaxed, so I open a bottle of wine, poor myself a rather large glass, and start watching the Jaycee Dugard interview with Diane Sawyer.  After about 5 minutes I started weeping and then cried uncontrollably.  I love this girl.

I want to hug her and hold her tight.  I am in awe of her strength and find her mother to be an inspiration.  Her love for her child is as it should be, and I wish I could somehow take away their pain.  They are both remarkable women and I respect and admire them so very much.

My son has been on holiday for over a week and it’s hard for me, which could seem silly to some.  We talk on the phone, iChat so I can see his face, and text a lot.  I cannot compare 8 days to 18 years, but I miss him and I think Jaycee’s mom, Terry Probyn, would agree.

It’s not about the pain of loss, but about a mother’s heart missing her child.  She reminded us we must prioritize our children.  She did not kiss Jaycee goodbye on the day she was kidnapped and it has haunted her for 18 years. Her advice was to take the time with your kids.

I love my son, miss him so much it hurts, and am not ashamed to say it. He is my baby and that will remain the same whether he is 15 or 55.  I miss him a little more with each day that passes and I am counting the days until he comes home so I can smooch him.

I am very happy that Jaycee is home safe and sound with her mother and beautiful daughters.  I hope that other parents whose children have been taken get to have their children back soon.  I hope my son stays safe and happy, and I look forward to seeing him in 21 days.

I am going to interview Jill Zarin this week for my Keeping It Real blog, and it will be interesting to get her take and the anti-Semitism that she and I seem to generate.  Will there be a time when I am not hated for being a Jew, and a day I don’t cry because I miss my kid?  I’m keeping the faith.

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