February 18, 2010
What Is Tiger Woods Apologizing For?
Tiger Woods is going to make a statement of apology tomorrow for his behavior. Is he apologizing for all the sex he had? Is apologizing for cheating on his wife? If he were not married, would all the sex not be an issue? You can sleep with whoever you want if you’re not married.
I think that Tiger Woods is a pig. I don’t know anything about him, his wife, or his life, but I still think he is a pig. He put his wife and children at risk. He did not simply cheat on his spouse, and break his marriage vows, he violated his wife by breaking the rules of common decency.
The situation with Tiger Woods brings up a lot of questions. One could ask if monogamy is something that simply does not make sense in terms of human nature. If you are married, have a friendship, love and respect for each other, can you sleep with other people and have it not matter?
Can we ever separate out sex from love? Mrs. Woods had all the benefits of being married to a man like Tiger. She has multiple homes, is able to stay home with her children, travel wherever she wants, and buy whatever she desires. Is that not enough? Does sex have to be a part of the deal?
If she never found out would her life be better off? He was clearly cheating on her, but did she need to know? I think so. People cheat on their partners all the time, no one finds out, and life goes on. What is unforgiveable about Tiger’s behavior is not that he cheated, it’s that he was reckless with lives other than his own. When he endangered her and their kids, is when she deserved to know.
I think it’s sad that he needs to create a news conference to apologize for his behavior. I think it’s stupid that he is not taking questions and simply making a statement. Is he going to golf again and thinks if he says sorry, he will be forgiven and can go on with his life?
The thing is, what he has done has nothing to do with his golfing. He is the greatest golfer the sport has ever seen. That he is a sex addict does not change that. Just because you are a pig in your personal life, does not mean you are a pig professionally.
I lost respect for Mr. Woods as a husband and a father, not as a golfer. I think it’s a shame that people cannot see the difference between the two. I have blogged about Tiger Woods two other times and got a lot of feedback about my opinion. You can see those two entries at the links below.
The Tiger Woods scandal has really made me think about marriage, love and sex. I am almost 44, divorced and have a child. Clearly I have engaged in sex. At what point do we get to own our sexuality? Sex is an important part of an adult life, yet we are not really allowed to talk about it, and it ruins a lot of otherwise great relationships.
How important a role does sex play in a marriage? If women were better able to separate love from sex, would it make for more successful marriages? Statistically, less than 3% of all mammals on the planet are monogamous. Why do we assume that humans are a part of that group?
I did a Google search of monogamy and it turns out humans are not really made to be monogamous. Sex is this huge part of our lives, but perhaps has been assigned too much value. It turns out that love and sex are two completely different things, yet we teach that they are one and the same.
When I was young, I was taught that you should love who you are having sex with. I think I have actually used those words when speaking about sex with my own child. I want him to hold off on sex until he is old enough to respect and appreciate not only what it is, but who he is doing it with.
I think sex is a great thing and I understand it so much more now than I ever did in the past. I like to think I am evolved enough to be able to differentiate sex from love, and if I was cheated on I could overcome it. However, the fact is that when I was asked to forgive cheating, I could not do it. I’m not as evolved as I like to think I am.
I’m curious to hear what Tiger has to say. I can’t imagine it will change my opinion in terms of his golfing or his marriage. At the end of the day who cares? His actions do not change my life in any way, and ultimately will not change how I look at love or sex.
I wonder what sex will be like when my son is old enough to marry. At some point will monogamy not be a requirement in a marriage? When you look at how much the world changes with each generation, it is possible that his generation will embrace love and sex as two different things?
I believe in love, sex, and monogamy. I believe it is possible to find all three things in one relationship, and will continue to search for the one person who can give me everything. I will find him as long as I continue to hope, believe, pray and keep the faith.