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December 7, 2012

Victoria’s Secret, Medicated Flying, Jew Hating & Shabbat

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/victorias_secret_medicated_flying_jew_hating_shabbat/

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I watched the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show this week and can I just say, WOW.  These women really are spectacular looking and I watched in amazement as each one strutted her stuff.  I would like to live in a body for that for a day. By for a day of course I mean forever. 

I would walk around naked just staring at myself all day long.  I would actually go to the market in only my Victoria’s Secret underwear.  Do I sound jealous?  Well I am.  These women are spectacular looking and I hate them for it.  Not hate them really, just envious.

Miranda Kerr was especially offensive to me.  This chick had a baby 5 minutes ago and looks amazing.  I am working on losing the weight I gained when I had my son and it is very hard.  How old is my son?  He is almost 17. Don’t judge me.  Eat a sandwich Miranda.  With mayo!

I thought the show was really great.  Rihanna, Bruno Mars and Justin Bieber were all great, and the women wore pieces of art.  As I watched, and fantasized about having a body like theirs, I also imagined how it would be to write bitch on their foreheads with a Sharpie. Not kidding.

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I am leaving for London in 15 days!  We’ve been planning this trip for months and to have it now be so close is exciting.  I will be there with my son, the Englishman, and his two daughters.  As thrilled as I am to be going on this holiday, I am freaked out by flying and dreading the flight.

I have travelled extensively in my life, but it has only been in the last 15 years or so that I have been afraid of it.  I need to be seriously medicated to get on a plane. Taking off and landing are scary for me, but the actual flying part freaks me out and requires some cocktails.

Medicating yourself for a flight is a serious science.  I need to be looped enough to simply get on the plane, but not so hammered that they think something is wrong with me.  Then I need to be relaxed enough to fly, but not so zonked out that I would be useless in an emergency.

It has been a long time since I went to Europe and so I’m not sure how I will do. There will be medication involved, and cocktails, so all I can do is pray we all arrive safely and hope I don’t humiliate myself. God willing I land not drooling when I meet the Englishman’s parents.

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I find it fascinating how easy it is for people who don't agree with my blogs to say it is because I am Jewish.  The amount of hate that is directed to me for my faith is sad and hurtful, but also very interesting.  People of faith, hating on people of faith, is a very interesting thing.

The Internet gives people courage to say what they want when they are hiding in the shadows.  It is rare that people will use their real names when they call me a dirty, stupid, or evil Jew.  If they want me to take their hate seriously, they need to own it, not throw it and run.

It is cowardly, in my opinion, to email hate to me from a fake email address, or tweet hateful to me from the protection of a Twitter egg.  These haters know who I am, yet they are not brave enough to let me respond to who they are.  Probably because they don’t like who they are.

My name is Ilana Angel.  I am Jewish.  I am 46 years old and could afford to lose 46 pounds.  I am smart, beautiful, and funny.  I am a great mom, friend, daughter, writer, and girlfriend.  If you don’t like me, it is okay.  My opinion of myself is not changed by your opinion of me.

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It has been a long week and the next two weeks before my holiday are going to be busy.  There are a million things going on with my work, my kid’s school, and my family and friends.  The holidays are crammed with shopping, parties, and deadlines.  I’m just trying to get it all done.

Shabbat matters to me, but today I find myself needing it.  I am going to embrace it and allow the peace of Shabbat to wash over me.  With so much stress and hate this week, it will be nice to be home, be quiet, be calm, and be able to have a conversation with God.

I am a very blessed woman.  I may not look like a Victoria’s Secret angel, but I am an angel. Literally.   When I say I am beautiful I mean it, but I would take a body like that in a heartbeat.  I may not be a good flyer, but with the help of Xanax all will be fine in London.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  If you celebrate Hannukah, enjoy the holiday.  It really is a magical time.  As the year comes to a close I am happy, reflective, and looking ahead. Thank you for reading and sharing.  Shabbat Shalom.  Be safe, be kind, and keep the faith.

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