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April 15, 2013

Tall Jew, Short Jew, Lying Jew, Old Jew

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/tall_jew_short_jew_lying_jew_old_jew/

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How is it possible that a large group of men can all suffer from the same disorder and not be aware of it?  Jewish men are simply unable to give their correct height.  Why?  If they are 5’4”, they say 5’7”.  If they are 5’7”, they say they are 5’10”.  If they are 5’10”, they automatically become 6’.  Why do they do this if they want a shot in hell of finding a partner?

It’s not like lying about your height is not going to be discovered.  It only means that if you meet someone wonderful, the first thing she will think about you, is that you are a liar.  Actually, that is the second thing she will think about you because the first thing is that you are short.  Height is not that important.  I have dated hobbits and giants, not a big deal.

As I start my journey through online dating, again, I am seeing men that I actually know, and have first hand knowledge that they are lying about they height.  It is hilarious to me.  I only date Jewish men, so I can only speak of my experiences, but exaggerating height seems to be a Jewish problem. Jewish men are fabulous, but unclear about what 5’10” looks like.

In the end it is a dumb choice.  I appreciate people are sad, lonely, and occasionally desperate, but lying is not the way to go.  I am finding that men are also lying about their ages.  There is one man in particular who I know for a fact is 58, but lists himself as 51.  Some men list a certain age, then in the first line of their profile, admit they lied.  So why lie at all?

I hope to meet a man who wants to have a relationship.  When he sees me online he will see my real face, can Google me and find out everything he needs to know, along with things he probably does not need to know.  He will know I have curves and am not a rake.  He will know I am sarcastic, funny, honest, and not looking for a hookup.  There are no surprises with me.

I’m not saying I don’t play the game, because I do, but there is a difference between saying I am short and saying I love football.  I don’t love football, but I will watch it, get into it, learn about your favorite team, and wear your Jersey.  I will not however tell you I am 42, a size 6, and 5’8”.  The rules of dating call for some manipulations, but not lies, so stop lying.

Dating online makes me wonder if people are inherently kind but somewhat desperate to meet a partner, or inherently evil and looking to get laid.  It is very stressful to allow yourself to trust a stranger.  I understand it is the age we live in, but that does not make it any easier.  Dating is hard, online dating is time consuming, trusting yourself is impossible, and JDate is painful.

I get emails from women all over the world saying they have given up on dating.  It is exhausting so I understand their frustration. I listen to their stories and think maybe I should give up too.  Some days I wish chicks did it for me so I could pass on men and meet a nice Jewish girl.  I once took a Facebook poll to see how gay I was.  I scored 1%, so chicks are out.

There is nothing wrong with being a tall Jew, short Jew, or old Jew.  Even lying Jews are acceptable I guess, if they are attorneys.  The thing is, we are Jews so there is a certain level of decency I expect.  By expect of course I mean hope.  By hope, of course I mean that finding decent Jewish men online may be impossible. Cute, yes. Decent, not so much.

To women who have given up, I say try again.  We can do it together.  We can support each other, laugh with each other, and cry with each other. Hopefully more tears of joy than sadness, but tears should be expected. Love is wonderful and the truth is a one date guy can also be wonderful. Actually, if you blog about your life, a bad date can be wonderful.

In the interest of not lying, I will tell you that a lot of what I have been writing this past week about my excitement to get out there again is a lot of bravado.  I am scared to death.  Scared of rejection and even more terrified of meeting someone great.  Being a woman in her 40’s and dating, sucks ass. No way to sugar coat it people, it truly is horrific.

I am a little wounded and somewhat jaded, but thankfully I am not bitter.  I am angry to be sure, that I am back in this position, but one can be angry without being bitter.  I am here and I am trying. It turns our trying is all that is required of me.  God, luck, and vodka will take care of the rest.  Love is lost, life goes on, and love is found again, so keep the faith.

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