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April 5, 2010

Spring has Sprung,  Hope is Alive & Ricky Martin Inspires

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/spring_has_sprung_hope_is_alive_ricky_martin_inspires_20100405/

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It was bound to happen.  If you don’t allow yourself to get discouraged, think positive, take it all with a grain of salt, and remember to laugh, even when you want to cry, it will happen.  Eventually, you are going to have a good date.  If you’re lucky, he thinks it was a good date too.

Last night I had a very nice date.  I went out with a charming, funny, and attractive man.  We’ll call him “Ari”.  He made me laugh, kept me on my toes, and made my heart flutter a little bit.  It’s been a while since I went on a date with someone I wanted to have a second date with. 

I saw his profile on Match.com and sent him an email.  I thought he was cute, and his profile was hilarious.  He was bold, cocky, and uncensored, which I like.  According to his profile however, I was not the type of girl he was looking for.  Whatever.

I wrote him anyway, because if nothing else, I wanted him to know that I appreciated how he wrote his profile.  The problem with meeting people online, is that they often write what they think people want to read, not what is true.  Ari wrote honestly, and I could tell, so it was great.

I wrote a short note that said I thought he was hilarious, enjoyed his profile, and wished him well with his search.  He wrote back which was very nice.  We sent a few emails back and forth, and then spoke on the phone.  We talked for about an hour, and decided we would meet.  He was willing to think outside of his own parameters, which I give him credit for.

Here’s the thing, I’m not a big pre-dater.  It always ends in disappointment, as you have read here quite a few times.  I like to limit my pre-dating to a couple of emails, a phone call, and then let’s meet.  Kudos to Ari, because he was the same way, and made things happen quickly.

He got in touch Sunday night at 6, we made plans to meet at 8.  I left it up to him, and he opted to meet for dinner.  I don’t know about other women, but I think if a man is willing to have dinner on a first date, without having seen you, it’s classy and respectful.  It’s also flattering.

We are grown ups.  If you can talk to someone on the phone for an hour, and feel a connection of some kind, then having dinner is nice.  It sends a completely different message from meeting at Starbucks, for a 30 minute interview date.  It has promise.

Ari lives around 30 minutes away from me, but made plans to have dinner by my house.  It was raining, and I offered to meet him part way, but he insisted on coming to my neighborhood.  It’s a little thing, but so nice.  He was a gentleman, and I had a crush on him before we even met.

I got to the restaurant a couple of minutes before him, and waited at the bar.  He walked in, and let me just say: yummy, yummy, ding dong, This is an attractive man, and he smelled so good, that when he hugged me, I inhaled deeply and didn’t want to let go.  I almost licked him.

In fact, there was a couple eating dinner in the booth next to us.  When they got up to leave, the lady came over and said she was sorry to interrupt, but he smelled so good, she needed to know what he was wearing.  Hilarious.  Seriously, if you got the slightest whiff, you wanted to kiss him.

We had a lovely dinner, and talked about a lot of things.  It was an open and educational discussion.  It was also very respectful, and a little racy.  This is a wonderful man.  He is smart, articulate, funny and sincere.  He also loves his kids, which I think is the greatest thing of all, and something I respect.

You all know me, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I’m open and honest with my dating life.  I am looking to meet a special man, and I’m taking you all on the journey with me.  After a series of not so great dates, I had a wonderful time last night, and it has left me feeling hopeful.

Ari, if you’re reading, I think you are a strong, smart, and inherently good man. I enjoyed our time together.  Thank you for schlepping in the rain, for a lovely dinner, for being a gentleman, and for smelling so good.  I could be wrong of course, and you could be none of those things, but I don’t think so.

Before I go today, I want to update you on my date with “Ricky Martin”.  I went on a date last week with a man who I was convinced was gay, even if he didn’t know it yet.  He is 45, divorced with 3 kids, and gay.  I wrote a blog about my date with “Ricky”. 

Ricky and I had a great evening together, and I think we will be friends for a very long time.  Should he ever decide to come out of the closet, and live his truth, I will support him 100%.  The day after our date, and after he read my blog, Ricky sent me beautiful flowers.

This is the note that came with the bouquet:  “Ilana, You are great, and our date was the best I’ve ever had. The blog was funny!  It’s interesting how secrets to some, are obvious statements to others.  A door was opened, so steps can be taken. Thank you.”

Maybe it was Ricky Martin who inspired him to be his true self.  Maybe it was having me point out the obvious, in a funny and non-threatening way, that inspired him.  Maybe it was just his time to get real.  Whatever it was, I’m very proud to have been any part of someone setting himself free.

I don’t know if Ari will call.  Sometimes you can think you had a great date, but never hear from them again.  What I do know is this: Ricky will be fine, good dates are possible, and decent men are out there.  Will Ari call?  I’m keeping the faith.

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