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December 21, 2010

Skating With The Stars: Bethenny Fake Cries Her Way to the Finale

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/skating_with_the_stars_bethenny_frankel_fake_cries_her_way_to_the_finale_20/

Photo

Bethenny Frankel, Figure Skater

Just when I thought Bethenny Frankel could not get more obnoxious, on what has proven to be the worst show ever put on television, she manages to outdo herself by fake crying for votes, all while we watch her lies begin to unravel, as she secures the votes of her fans.

I’m predicting that Bethenny Frankel will win the first, and God willing only, season of Skating With the Stars.  She has mastered lying and taken it to a level I have never seen before, so just give it to her.  This show was never about skating, so let’s call it a day and crown her already.

It is just a reality television show, but Bethenny is like a cult leader who, for reasons we will never truly understand, gets everyone to drink the Kool-Aid.  I find her and her fame fascinating.  I find her fan base to be beyond explanation and to be quite honest, a little scary.

The show starts with the most annoying host on the planet, then there is a group skate, which is entertaining.  Jonny Moseley is fast and quite good.  Rebecca Budig is elegant and quite talented, and Bethenny manages to skate without bending her knees or cracking her make up.  Impressive.

In the group skate, first place goes to Rebecca, second place to Jonny, and third place to Bethenny.  Now we move onto the free skate.  Rebecca skates first and she is lovely.  Her outfit, make-up, hair, music, all of it, is just perfect.  I was impressed with her.  Shame she won’t win.

Bethenny is up next and announces she can win and is the underdog.  This is interesting because later in the show when she is sent to the finals, she looks shocked.  Shocked my tuchas.  She knew all along that her crybaby whining would get her peeps to vote in droves.

She finishes her routine and immediately burst into tears.  Not graceful tears, but ugly tears, and so the push for votes begins!  She starts whining.  Again.  She says she left her baby and husband.  Wait a minute, last week she said she relocated her baby and husband to LA.

Which one is it?  Did she leave them, or bring them with her?  The pictures of them in Beverly Hills have been in every magazine on the planet, but her fans actually buy into her crap.  She left nothing.  They are all here.  I’ve seen them around town.  I guess she forgot.

The most disappointing part of the show is when Johnny Weir buys into to crap fest.  Oh Johnny, you must just be tired my darling.  It’s okay.  We forgive you for drinking the Kool-Aid.  Tomorrow you will skate and we will forgive you because you are after all, fabulous.

Moseley is up and he’s ok.  Nothing mind blowing, but certainly good enough to be in the finals with Rebecca.  They are all on the ice and Rebecca is the first one through to the finale tomorrow night.  Then it’s between Bethenny and Johnny, and no surprise, Bethenny goes through.

Bethenny is shocked. (Fake.)  Johnny is pissed. (Not fake.)  The camera turns to Vince Neil who appears confused.  This is the best worst show ever.  I stuck it out to the end, and tomorrow shall be glorious as it will be over.  The wrong person will win, but it will be over!

I’m often asked why I write Bethenny when I clearly am not a fan.  Maybe there is a part of me that likes to irritate her fans, but the real reason would be that I love reality television, think she’s a fraud, and enjoy being one of the few people with the balls to tell the truth.

This show was an epic disaster and I cannot imagine, under any circumstances, that it will be back.  Bethenny with take her trophy and proudly talk about it forever.  Then, when we finally erase her from our memory, she will be back on Bravo and I shall blog about her.

Bethenny fan sites will talk about how horrible I am, will criticize, call me names, say I’m mean because I’m Jewish, write that I am jealous of her, and my blogs about her are the reason I am not married.  Can’t wait! Bring it on girls.  I’m standing by, and keeping the faith.

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