Jewish Journal


March 10, 2011

Single Mom Dilemma: a Dating Life vs. the Life of a Cat Lady



I love my son.  Really, really love him.  He is the greatest person I know, my hero, my inspiration, and my one great love.  I have never known anyone who gave me such joy, yet caused me as many headaches.  He is a blessing and each and every day that I get to be his mom is truly a gift from God.

He’s getting ready to leave me and while it is the most exciting thing ever, it also breaks my heart.  My whole life is wrapped up in this kid and when he leaves for college my heart will be busting with pride and the silence left when he goes, will be deafening.  I can’t wait and am also a little scared.

What will I do with all my time?  Date?  I don’t think so.  I need to do my dating now so that when he goes, I’m able to stay busy with my beau.  It’s important that I be in a relationship when he heads off to school.  By important, of course I mean it is imperative and simply must happen.

I have written about my son’s thoughts about college before.  He has wanted to go to NYU for as long as I can remember.  It’s his dream, and I have always just assumed it’s where he would go.  He has made it very clear to me that if I am not in a relationship when he is set to go, he won’t.

He says he will stay in LA and go to a local school so I am not left alone.  Seriously, how fabulous is this delicious boy?  I love him and as I have told him a million times, over my dead body will this remarkable child give up his dreams for me.  He is going to NYU and we are not discussing it.

So this blog has been my about my journey to find love, and prepare for my boy to go to college, so he can actually go away to college and I can have a grown up relationship, that includes adult relations, before I forget what that is, how to do it, or I fall in love with a rabbit.

My dating life has been horrible lately.  I’ve had a series of dates with gross men, dates with men who were not into me, and dates with men that I was just not into.  I have a type, but am completely able to think outside the box and be open to finding love in someone unexpected.

The thing is, it’s a lot of work.  I love my cat and she requires no work.  She does not care if I wear my glasses, or if my hair is in a ponytail.  I can wear flannel pajamas to bed and she never complains when I watch reality television.  She is the least complicated relationship in my life.

Would it not be easier to get a few more cats and just call it a day?  Yes it would, but here’s the thing, my son needs to go to NYU and he is not going to go if I opt for a life as a cat lady, over a life that includes love.  So I need to pick myself up and just keep going.

I’m not excited to jump back into online dating but I will.  It’s a shame JDate is hell on earth because Jews are my preference.  Perhaps I will ease back into it with Match or eHarmony.  I have no idea where I will go, but I will go because it’s the best thing for me and my son.

There is a man for me, and God willing we will find each other.  It could, will, and must happen.  Of course I will be fine if it does not.  I can always ask my friend Andy to marry me so my kid will go to NYU.  If Andy says no I’ll ask his husband Patrick.  He might do it, for a few bucks.

I am going to put the brakes on my trip to Cat Lady Land and put myself back on the online dating hell train.  There will be a few bumps in my search but it’s all good because at the very least, I will get a few great blogs out of it and hopefully no more dates will vomit on my shoes.

I love my kid, myself, my cat, and men, so how hard can it be?  The truth is it’s near impossible but I believe I can beat the odds and find my beshert.  I have God on my side so if I throw in some hope, prayer and time, it will happen. I am thinking positive, and keeping the faith.

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