July 18, 2013
Sex Goes Kosher LUBE UPDATE
I’m not sure how lube comes into play with oral sex, or why it being kosher would matter, but if you keep kosher, and lube stops you from having oral sex, you can now take a dive because kosher lube is available. It is being touted as a great thing for Orthodox Jews, but the fact is that not all Jews who keep kosher are Orthodox. Many Jews of different levels of observance are kosher. I am a vegetarian, so by default I am kosher. I am not however, interested in eating lube, so it being kosher does not matter.
American made “Wet” is selling kosher lube in eight flavors. Really? I’m not sure what the flavors are, but insert Jewish food jokes here. (FYI, Matzo ball lube is not sexy.) The President of Trigg Laboratories, the makers of Wet, is Sean Smith, who apparently converted to Judaism when he married his Jewish wife. I’m sure she is lovely to have inspired a conversion, so good for her. Mazel Tov. I am not making fun of this product, and I guess people felt they needed it, but come on. Is having kosher lube really necessary?
Kosher women can put make up on their faces that is not kosher. They can put cream on their bodies that is not kosher. Kosher law says, "One may even apply non-kosher ingredients to one's lips, eg lipstick, lip balm." If you can put non-kosher products on your lips, why the need for kosher lube? My understanding is kosher only matters if you are swallowing something. Who eats lube? Couldn't blowing be before lube is brought into sex? One could argue if you do it properly, lube is not required.
The Torah says there is to be no intentional destruction of seed. Would intentional destruction not involve swallowing? We’re talking about Jewish girls right? That’s funny. I wonder if kosher lube comes with small print saying it is an aid, and not to be eaten. Where does one market kosher lube? I have not seen it in my temple flyer on Shabbat. I find the whole thing to be slightly ridiculous, but if kosher lube is needed, then God bless. What will they think of next when it comes to keeping the faith?
Don't run out to get your kosher lube just yet because it is no longer kosher! The very people who certified it kosher, a week ago, have now revoked the kosher stamp of approval because they say they did not know it was intended to be used for sex. Really? A lube called "Wet" is to be used for something else? To be teased with the possibility of oral sex, only to have it yanked away, sounds very Jewish to me. :-) Oh well.