Jewish Journal


April 30, 2010

Rielle Hunter Has A Bunny Cooking On the Stove



Johnny and Crazy

Rielle Hunter is a single mother.  She is a woman who loves her little girl, and is trying to give her the best life possible.  Rielle Hunter is also, in my opinion, a delusional sociopath, who has lost touch with reality, and lives in a world she has created in her mind.  This woman is simply not well, and decided to go on The Oprah Winfrey Show, so we could all see it first hand.

The interview starts out with Ms. Hunter telling us she calls John Edwards “Johnny”, because he never seemed like a “John” to her.  However you wish to refer to him is fine Rielle.  Since he doesn’t seem like a John or a Johnny to me, unless it’s a hooker reference, I’m going to refer to him, for the purposes of this article, as “Douchelord”.

If you were going to be on the Oprah Show, knowing that everyone was going to see you, and frankly judge you, why wouldn’t you get your roots done, so you wouldn’t look like a skanky whore, but rather the high class and educated hooker that you are?  Furthermore, if you knew there was a camera shooting from behind you, why not brush the back of your hair?

Rielle let us know that it is “not her experience”, that a third party can wreck a home.  She says problems already exist in a marriage when a third party comes along.  Is the implication that this has happened to her before?  I interpreted what she said to mean that this is not the first time she has ruined a marriage.

Rielle Hunter kept laughing throughout the interview at the weirdest times.  Nothing was funny, but she was cracking herself up.  She reminded me of Bette Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.  She was in her own little world, and it was as if she had pity for Oprah, because she was not able to see the world the same way she did.

In reference to her calling Douchelord “hot”, when she met him, she said it was not describing him in terms of sex appeal, but rather that he was “hot” from the perspective of standing out from the crowd.  She said he felt authentic and real to her.  Does she think we’re buying this?  I have been watching the interview for 5 minutes, and she is clearly crazy.

Her goal, when she first met Douchelord, was to help him find his authentic self, so he could be himself.  Blah, blah, blah.  They spoke on the phone, she went to his hotel room, and so it began.  She was going to help him live a truer life.  Translation: she is a hooker, he is a pig, and the love affair begins.  (Insert projectile vomiting sounds here.)

So now, we’ve established that she is a person who is committed to truth, and does not believe in lies.  Is she so delusional, that she actually thinks this makes sense?  We’re supposed to believe she had a one night stand with him, a few phone calls, she is in love, and is going to somehow set him free to be who he is meant to be?  Oh.  My.  God.

She says that she felt being with him, even though he was married, was okay, because he was “available”.  He wanted to be with her, and that made it all right.  Mr. Available, then dumped her over the phone.  He called her, and told her he was done, and would not have any further contact with her.  Rielle did not believe it, and assumed they would be together.

We are then fed a plate of crap, when she tells us that she is conservative, and believes in living a life of integrity. She admits this is a contradiction, and she understands why everyone is judging her.  She is giggling, and sitting very rigidly in her chair.  We are now 22 minutes into the hour long interview, and I am convinced she has a bunny cooking on the stove.

She tells Douchelord she is pregnant.  He is running for President of the United States, and yet he is being gracious to her when she tells him about the baby.  He is married, hoping to be President, and he is okay with his slutty girlfriend having a baby?  Hey Rielle, I think the bunny is done.  Shall I open a bottle of Chianti?

Rielle is now crying, because she agreed to say Andrew Young was the father of her baby, and that made her worry that one day the baby would grow up and feel bad that she was the reason her daddy never became President.  After everything she has gone through, her worry is that the baby will be blamed for Edward’s downfall.  Can I get ketchup with my rabbit?

By this time, Oprah is laughing, because this woman is talking, but the only thing that is clear, is that she is a loon.  In terms of the GQ photos, she wanted to have one sexy picture of herself, to counter all the ugly pictures.  Translation:  she wanted Elizabeth to see the pictures so she could be the young, sexy mistress.  Seriously?  This broad is disgusting.

When Oprah asks what she wants people to come away from the interview with, she says she wants people to know she is real, true to herself, and authentic.  She is living her truth, and wants us to see it.  She also says her intention is never to hurt anyone, and she does not know if she hurt Elizabeth Edwards.  Really?  Come on!  Is she this delusional for real?

She will not say what her relationship with Douchelord is now.  She is in love with him, and believes that he is in love with her.  Interesting.  Since he is no longer with his wife, if he loved her, would he not be with her and the baby?  I am of the opinion that this woman is not well.  She was just plain crazy when he met her, and she is now Fatal Attraction crazy.

She ends the interview saying she is a better person because of everything that has happened, and so is Douchelord.  She says he sees the baby, and both she, and Quinn, get financial support from him.  She looks happy, and somewhat proud of herself.  I suppose ruining lives, can have that effect on some people.  Good for her.

I came away from the Oprah interview wishing I had not wasted an hour of my life watching it.  I think Rielle Hunter should be ashamed of herself, and I’ve got $20 that says by the time that little girl hits 12, she’ll be begging to change her name.  We will never really know what happened, and at the end of the day, we will never really care.

To Rielle Hunter, you are a sad woman, and need help.  You are delusional, and crazy.  The good news is that you are not the bad guy in this story.  John Edwards is.  There are no words to describe how disgusting you are Mr. Douchelord.  You are a lying, cheating, snake, and are on the A Train to hell, so buckle up, as I imagine you will be travelling rather quickly.

My prayers go out to Elizabeth Edwards.  I hope she is fighting her best fight, and enjoying her time with her children.  No marriage is perfect, there is blame on everyone in this story, at the end of the day however, you deserved better, and I hope the consolation is that you will have peace in the final chapter of your life.  Be well, and keep the faith.

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