October 2, 2009
I like to recycle. I feel strongly about helping the planet and it is an easy way to make a difference for future generations. Everyone should recycle. It’s a no brainer. It’s not hard and we must all do our part. The question is, if I’m going to jump on the recycling bandwagon can I apply the same theory to dating?
Can you reach into your past and pull out an old date and recycle him? On my last day on the JDate hell train I got an email from someone I dated several years ago. We had gone out one time and it was a great date but at the time we were looking for different things.
He is a super smart and accomplished attorney who is a grown up. He’s the type of person who was a grown up even when he was a child. We had insane chemistry and enjoyed our evening but we never went out again because he was not looking for a serious relationship.
It’s both a blessing and a curse to be so clear on what I’m looking for. It’s a blessing that I can tell quickly if there is potential for something real and it’s a curse because I don’t always give men a fair chance because I decide their fate quickly and in the end it shuts doors that should perhaps stay open.
I am going out with my recycled date on Sunday night. We are meeting for drinks and it’s oddly comfortable because even though I have not seen him in a long time it’s not a first date. There is the excitement of something new without the pressure of the unknown.
It’s like cleaning out your closet and finding a beautiful pair of shoes that you simply love but you forgot you had. The question is have I found a fabulous pair of stilettos that are timeless or am I about to strut around in a pair wooden clogs which should only be worn as a Halloween costume?
One could argue that my dating life sucks so bad that I now need to reach into the archives but on the flip side maybe there is a right time for everything and things could be different now. By different now of course I mean that I hope the chemistry has stayed the same and I’m not confusing him with someone who should never be recycled by me or anyone else.
It’s hard to know if I am picking up a clean and shiny bottle from the recycle bin or simply sorting though the trash and digging out a dirty and useless piece of old plastic. The romantic part of me thinks it makes for a great love story if it’s a match but the cautious single mom reminds herself that at the end of the day we met on JDate and no good can ever come of that. By cautious of course I mean jaded and by jaded of course I mean bitter.
Maybe I’ll really recycle and wear the same dress so I feel good about myself that it still fits five years later. I will go out on Sunday with an open mind and try to limit my expectations to zero. I will recycle my dress for my recycled date and hope for the best. Everything old can be new again if you clean it up and keep the faith.
JewishJournal.com is produced by TRIBE Media Corp., a non-profit media company whose mission is to inform, connect and enlighten community