March 3, 2011
Problems, Pimples, Periods, Parenting, Perfection & Prayer
I’ve got problems. Well, I think I’ve got problems. I live in America, am free to say whatever I want, write whatever I’m feeling, and practice my faith. I have a car, a roof over my head, and food on my table. I have a job, a family, a child, and love of Judaism. Do I have problems?
I woke up this morning with a pimple and my period. I am almost forty-five years old, and I woke up in the same situation as millions of teenage girls around the world. Who gets a pimple at this age? Have I not earned the right to be done with acne as a middle-aged woman?
I am not going to have another child so why do I need my period? I’m bloated, broken out, bitchy, and tired. I’m actually beyond tired. I am exhausted. I cried most of yesterday. For no reason. My hormones are raging, and as a result I simply cannot stop crying.
It totally sucks that I have grown up problems AND teenage problems simultaneously. I’ve already been through adolescent crap, so if I am going to struggle through grown up issues, is it too much ask that my skin look good and I not have cramps? Seriously.
All I want to do is just say &%#@ it, crawl into bed, and deal with it tomorrow, but I can’t because I am a mom. My job is to take care of my son, give him a loving and supportive home, and make sure he is happy and safe. There is no time off from motherhood.
My child is perfect. We went out for dinner last night and it was great. He makes me laugh, brings me joy, and is a truly remarkable person. We got home from dinner, settled in for the night, and when he thanked me for dinner and told me he loved me, I started sobbing.
He panicked for about 5 seconds, asking me what was wrong, and then he started laughing. I asked him what was so funny and he told me he thought something was wrong then realized I must just have my period. My 15 year old laughed at me and my hormonal sobbing.
When you’re a boy, living alone with your mom, you’re going to learn about periods. It’s just a part of life. Between periods, learning how to do dishes, laundry, putting your cloths in the hamper, and putting down the toilet seat, this kid will be golden with the ladies.
It was funny and gave me perspective. I don’t have problems. I have a son who is perfection and the answer to all of my prayers. I love him and our lives are blessed. As for the pimple and the cramps, I borrowed his blemish cream, self-medicated, and am keeping the faith.