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January 31, 2013

Motherhood, Womanhood, Brandi Glanville & Me

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/motherhood_womanhood_brandi_glanville_me/

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Brandi & Me

There are a lot of people talking about Brandi Glanville and her new tell all book.  I have read the book and I laughed out loud and also felt her pain and distress.  People are talking about it, which is good.  What troubles me is that people are saying that she has compromised her children by writing such an honest look at her life.  I want to jump in the ring and say that I don't think she has done anything wrong.

Being a mother is my greatest accomplishment, brings me the greatest joy, and defines who I am as a human being.  I have written honest and raw articles about my struggles with marriage, divorce, fertility, dating, love, loss, and heartbreak.  Am I a bad mother for sharing?  No.  When one has a platform to share experiences that can enlighten, help, entertain, or inspire dialogue, then are we not obligated to do so?

I was 25 years old when I got married, 30 when I had my baby and got divorced.  I was so focused on being a good mother that I forgot I was a woman.  I woke up one day to discover I was 43 years old and not sure what I was supposed to do.  I was by myself, raising a boy to be a man, and there was no man in sight.  I was alone and scared when I got divorced but I raised my son, and conquered my fear, but was still alone.

Brandi is not hurting her children by telling the truth. Brandi protects her children with the truth. If they were to read all the crap that has been written about her life by other people, including the whores who banged her husband and ruined her family, that would be hurtful.  Brandi is being a mother and a woman and the transition from being married to single would be easier if women allowed themselves to be both.

People are hell bent on making this woman feel bad about her book and that is unfortunate.  Brandi Glanville is a great mother, a good human being, and my friend.  She is providing for her children and how she does that is none of our business.  I share my truth everyday and my son, who is now 17, is proud of me.  He may be embarrassed on occasion but it is not because of things I have written in my columns.

My teenage son is sometimes mortified by my wanting to hug or kiss him in public, but he is never embarrassed when I share a story about my life and our struggles and triumphs as a family.  I have never claimed to be perfect, have made a lot of mistakes along the way, but I am a wonderful mother and all my choices are made with my son in mind.  Brandi is the same way with her boys so let's cut the woman a little slack.

I have had moments of worry when it comes to my blog and my son. Am I breaking a confidence?  Am I sharing too much? Will he understand?  I worry that he will never fully comprehend the sacrifices, challenges and fears I have faced raising him on my own.  All mothers, regardless of their relationship status, have the same worries.  That is how motherhood works.  I can only pray that I am doing it right.

For every difficulty I want him to one day understand, I want him to remember the good things more, and I know he will.  Our life is full of laughter, trust, respect, joy, secrets, jokes, and memories.   My blog, while certainly important, does not define our life together.  Brandi’s remarkable young boys have a life with their mother that is wonderful and she is their focus, not her book.  They are children not critics.

I look at my son and know I have done my job and done it well.  He loves and respects me not only because I am his mother, but because I have earned his love and respect.  He will one day make mistakes with his own children and some of those mistakes will be the same ones I made.  Life is funny like that.  My son will also be able to go back through my blogs long after I am gone and read the story of our life together.

I am proud of Brandi for being brave and I am proud of myself for being brave.  In the end the only one who can judge my motherhood is my son and he  shows me everyday that I am doing a good job.  Instead of judging Brandi for her book, people need to just read it and applaud the strength it took to share her truth.  In the end both Brandi and me are blessed because in our keeping it real, we are able to keep the faith.

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