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April 12, 2012

Mel Gibson Needs a Jewish Mother

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/mel_gibson_needs_a_jewish_mother_20120412/

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I am a writer, a Jew, a mother and a fan of Mel Gibson.  I may in fact be his only remaining Jewish fan, but to be clear, my adoration of him is as an actor not a human being.  I have written about him a few times and was planning to write about him again today, when I decided it would be better to write to him instead of about him.  If there were ever anyone in need of a good Jewish mother to guide them along, it is Mel Gibson.

Mr. Gibson, it’s time to stop talking.  Shhhh.  Just listen because I am going to tell you things and it’s important you pay attention.  You have systematically ruined your career and reputation, and while I understand you are a multi-millionaire and probably don’t care, you are also a man with an ego and a heart, so it has got to hurt that people are openly discussing how much they hate you.  This is not the legacy you want to leave to your kids. (I’m guessing that you have a heart.)

I understand that people say things they don’t mean when they are drunk.  I certainly have.  I also understand that people say things they don’t mean when they are mad.  I’m guilty of that too.  What you don’t seem to understand is that alcohol makes us honest, and anger allows us to speak from our heart. Knowing this, as most intelligent people do, makes you not a very nice man. You clearly have issues with Jews and with women, so let’s hash it out.  I’ll talk, you listen.

You clearly are angry with the mother of your youngest child and to be honest, I get it.  I am of the opinion that she was with you for money not love, however, that does not mean you can disrespect her like you do.  Even if she is stupid, a bitch, and a whore, which she may be, you cannot threaten her.  She is the mother of your child and if you love that baby, you must be kind to her.  Hate her privately but respect her publicly for your young daughter.

Your hatred of her is palpable and when you threaten to kill her, or call her horrific names, it makes you look crazy.  We all have opinions about her and how she handled herself, but any hurtful things she has done look kind and normal compared to your craziness.  I have issues with a man ever hitting a woman or humiliating her.  You have done both, which is enough for me to think you are a douchelord, and we’ve not even talked about Jews yet.

You have daughters Mel.  How would you feel if a man ever said to one of your girls what you have said to this woman?  You would lose your mind.  You need to start conducting yourself in a way that takes the feelings of your children into consideration.  You are functioning as if you are the only person who matters, which is sad because you are being unkind to yourself, and right now you need to be careful because you may be the only person who likes you.

Sidebar: If you were with me right now, this is the part of our chat where I bring out the food.  I tell you that I feel bad for you that nobody is taking care of you, mention that you look thin and need to eat something, then pull out a spread. Jewish mothers are all about food.  We feed our children and our guests.  You clearly know nothing about Jews so just trust me when I say you must eat what I give you, tell me it’s the best thing you’re ever had, then ask for more.

I am of the belief that parents teach their children hate.  This belief allows me to cut you some slack in your open and unrelenting attack on my faith.  Your father is, for lack of a better word, a nightmare.  His view of Jews and the Holocaust are not worth mentioning, but this is how he thinks, and has taught you the same.  If you were a child I could understand your blind faith towards his teachings, but you are a man and you need to stop buying his crap.

You have decided to hate an entire group of people.  There are good Jews, and bad Jews, but they are not good or bad because they are Jewish.  Bernie Madoff was bad because he’s an asshole.  Steven Spielberg is good because he is decent.  I am Jewish and I am lovely.  I love my faith and while I am always proud to be Jewish, your actions sometimes make me want to be quiet in terms of my faith.  That said, not today.  Today you have pissed me off and I have things to say.

The movie you are planning about The Maccabees is what caused your latest decent into hell. You have denied that you spoke such vile words, but come on Mel, there is truth to the letter from Joe Eszterhas.  You may not have said exactly what he is accusing you of, but you said something, and it was not good.  You are angry and you hate Jews.  We all get it.  Denying it won’t help.  Saying you are sorry won’t help either.  What you need is compassion and a lesson in tolerance.

To be clear, your words, even if not quoted exactly, are unacceptable.  You don’t know me, but you hate me.  You hate my child, who I will have you know is a divine human being.  You hate my faith, which has molded and guided me.  You hate me because I am a woman and women have hurt you.  Sadly the person you hate the most is you.  Or perhaps it is God you are mad at.  My heart and my God tell me to not hate you.  That said, you are an ass and I want to smack you.

By smack of course I mean punch you in the face.  I never would of course, partly because I am a lady, and partly because you scare the crap out of me.  I have seen many of your films and actually quote Braveheart on occasion.  You are talented and gorgeous and ugly and disgusting.  All the money in the world can’t protect you from your true self and when you go to bed at night and have to listen to voices that guide you, is when I feel most sorry for you.  You must be lonely.

Sidebar: At this point in our chat is when I start crying.  I cry for you and your ignorance.  I cry for me and my blind hope.  I cry for my son and the world of hate he lives in, and I cry for my faith, which is the core of my strength and the cause of so much hate.  I look pretty when I cry so you will want to reach out to comfort me, then won’t because I am a Jew and also because if you touch me I will leave a footprint on your groin.  Instead you’ll just pass me a tissue.

Lots of people hate Jews.  It does not make you special.  It does however make you a moron.  Your public displays of hate are fascinating.  Is it a childhood desire to impress your dad?  Is it a vicious way to seek attention?  Or is it as simple as you simply hate Jews?  Be a man and come clean Mel.  You owe me the truth.  Why? Because right now I am your Jewish mother and I demand to know the truth.  I am reaching out my hand and you should grab it.

I tweeted today that I was writing about you and the responses were fast and furious.  You are not a very popular man Mel.  In fact, you are barely tolerated. You are also an easy target.  It is easy to blame you for everything bad in the world because you have shown yourself to be evil on a lot of levels.  You intimidate me. You make me nervous because you are unstable.  It is important to have beliefs, and you are a man who has faith, but your faith is dangerous.

I am not going to judge how you choose to worship.  I am also not that interested in your judgment of how I worship.  I am willing however to have faith in you.  Faith that you can turn this around.  To be clear, you can’t turn around what you have done, but you can turn around my opinion of you.  I should matter to you.  I am a woman. I am Jewish.  I am a mother.  I am a fan of your work.  I am a human being who is not ready to discard you.  That is why I matter.

I would like to ask you questions and in return will answer yours.  I want you to show me that in a world driven by hate, there is still hope that a man who has entertained me and made my heart flutter, can be decent and not the evil monster people say he is.  It’s silly I suppose, and many will think I am being too kind to a man who does not deserve it, but in the end I am a Jew and my faith allows me to believe.  I believe in you Mel Gibson.

Important to note that when I say I believe in you, I am speaking about your humanity.  You are mean spirited, hateful, hurtful, violent, and scary.  However, you are also a father, a friend, a son and a man worthy of compassion.  You need a Jewish mother and so I can be that for you.  I’m not aiming to hurt you, or write a scathing article about how horrific you are, but rather just a Jewish woman who wants to understand why you hate me like you do.

I will allow your voice to be heard and in exchange maybe you can ease some of my worry about a world that scares me.  I invite you to sit down with me for a chat. I will listen.  I will think.  I will share.  I will trust.  Just you and me Mel.  Well, you, me and a security guard.  I’m brave but not stupid.  I invite you to be brave too. Perhaps time with a nice Jewish girl will give you a minute of peace, a chance to catch your breath, and permit you to rethink how you keep the faith.

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