December 30, 2009
I moved to the States in 1991 and my first girlfriend here was Jel. I had friends through my family or my husband, but she was the first person I met on my own and we became fast friends. We met at work and for the past 18 years she has been someone who always shares her honest opinion, no holds barred.
Over the years we have gone through times where we talked 20 times a day and others when life got busy and we went long periods without contact. We know each other really, really well and are both able to read what is going on with the other and no matter how much time passes, when we talk, it’s like two puzzle pieces coming together and everything snaps into place perfectly.
When we met, Jel had a very young daughter, was going through a divorce and I had been married for 3 weeks. We’ve been through marriages, divorces, the loss of our fathers, pregnancy, prosperity and penny pinching together. We have an unbreakable bond and will be friends until we are old and gray and one could argue that we are already old and gray.
For two people who are so close, we could not be more different. I am a hopeless romantic who believes in fairytale endings and Jel is the complete opposite. We hung out yesterday for coffee and shopping and got to talking about men and relationships and I could not stop laughing at her take on love. I pulled out my phone and start recording her because I didn’t want to miss a thing.
Here are some quotes from my afternoon with Jel:
1) A man can be a great friend, a great father or a great lover but it’s rare to find one man who can be all three.
2) At this stage in your life Ilana, you should stop looking for a husband and focus on finding a great lover.
3) I would like to have a great love life with someone who does not want to spend the night because I like to sleep alone and enjoy my solitude.
4) It is an unrealistic expectation, for both men and women, to think that one person can be everything you need.
5) If you want to talk about your day, call a girlfriend and do not bore the man in your life. He does not care.
6) If you want to have great sex, don’t share all the crap about your day because it will be better sex if he is focused on only you, not every detail of your life.
The most fascinating part of my day with Jel is that it took me 18 years to figure out she has a man’s brain. It’s a medical miracle and I think she should go on Oprah. She is a woman who lives her life thinking like a man and if I were man, I would be all over her. How rare to have all that messed up love perspective in the body of a smoking hot chick.
I love my friend Jel and so I will go out today and buy her a Josh Groban CD, a Harlequin romance and The Notebook on DVD. It should only take me another 18 years to train her brain to come to a woman’s side of romance. I know I can break her! All I need to do is keep the faith.