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May 5, 2013

Life, Dating & Relationships on a Blog

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/life_dating_relationships_on_a_blog/

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Blogging about your personal life is an interesting journey.  There are days when I think it is the greatest job ever, and others when I want to crawl under a rock and never write another word.  In the end it simply is what I do, and the good outweighs the bad, but that does not make it easy everyday.  I write about all aspects of my life, and my worldview.  The topics vary, and nothing is off limits, which may be a problem.

Writing is very solitary and when one gets in the zone and starts to share their thoughts, you can forget that anyone else is going to read it.  When I first started writing it was just me and my family and friends that were reading, yet three years later I am still writing as if it is still just for us. I forget how fast the written word can travel, and how vast, yet small the Internet has made the world.  A blog is a powerful tool.

I have had a difficult couple of months in my personal life and it has left me somewhat fragile.  I write everything here and have received much needed support, coaching, understanding, and humor from people all over the world. When I get blessings from Israel, hugs from England, concern from New Zealand, and letters from a single mother in Wales who takes strength from my stories, I am lifted up and feel humbled by the love.

When you write about your life people relate to the stories in a way that makes them relate to you.  People write to tell me they have experienced the same things as me, and that it helps them feel safe and less alone.  I also have many people write to say they do not agree, and their emails can be frightening, but they all provoke conversation and inspire me to write without fear and use my most truthful and heartfelt voice.

Writing about my life makes it fuller.  Writing about my dates makes it funnier.  Writing about my relationships, makes it challenging.  I am going to continue to write about my life as a mother, a Jew, how I see the world, and things happening in it, but I am not going to write about the men that I have a relationship with.  I am not a relationship expert, but writing about men in this way is not a topic that makes me feel comfortable.

There are certainly things to be shared, but also things to be kept private. Relationships are hard and require work.  It took my experiencing heartache to realize that too much attention is not good.  I have been blessed to raise a good man, love great men, and have great men love me. I know in my heart that I will find love again. When I do, I will share that it has been found, but the details will rest safely in my heart, not my blog.

I have made mistakes along the way and lessons have been learned.  Blogging when you have a broken heart is cathartic, but perhaps not wise.  Meeting someone wonderful when you are not ready is a boost to a fragile ego, but sadly not wise.  Reacting quickly is a release, but definitely not wise.  The hardest lesson to learn is to be quiet and reflect, not speak.  I need to get better at that so I am trying, and keeping the faith.

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