October 4, 2010
Jewish Convicted Felons, A Bus to San Quentin & Getting Set Up On Dates
My last boyfriend was a convicted felon. He served time for drug possession. When we met he had been out of prison and sober for years. We didn’t break up because he was a felon, but rather because he was a liar and douchelord. I was convinced for a long time losing him was a catastrophic loss, but in the end it was a blessing.
He is not the only convicted felon I’ve dated. I have actually gone out with three men who served time, and I met all three on JDate. The other two men were convicted of white color crimes that involved money. All educated, Jewish, handsome men, who for whatever reason, got off the path of the straight and narrow. Other than prison, they had me in common.
I’m not sure what it is about me that felons find attractive, but I guess there is something. It’s odd because you will not find anyone who is more straight laced than me. I have never gotten in trouble with the law, am very ethical, have morals, and a sense of obligation to not only myself, but to God. I’m the last person who I would think would date someone with that past.
I always thought it was unusual that independent of each other, all three of these men found me on JDate. Maybe it’s my compassionate heart that leads them to me. I could spend forever and a day trying to figure it out. In the end there is no rhyme or reason. It is because it is so random that I found what happened to me yesterday so much more entertaining.
I am always surprised when people recognize me from my blog. The first time someone in line at Starbucks told me to keep the faith as they passed me, I started to cry. It means so much that they read and take the time to let me know. I get emails from people all over the world telling me they love my stories, and others who tell me I suck. Either way, they are reading.
Yesterday I went for a walk in the early evening. I was sick with a bug/allergies all day Saturday so I was anxious to get some air and move around a bit. On my way home I stopped at Whole Foods. I love Whole Foods and rarely get out of one without running into someone I know, or a celebrity, and I always manage to leave with a story.
So I’m in the produce section buying pears. I have recently discovered the most fantastic red pears and was picking some up. There is a woman across the aisle and she is looking at me. I smile, she smiles. I select my pears and am about to leave when she asks me if I’m the lady who writes for the Jewish Journal. I smile and tell her that yes I am.
She then tells me that she enjoys my writing and that some of my dates have left her in stitches. I thank her for reading, for saying hello and think we’re done so I turn to go. She then starts talking to me again. She lets me know that she is also Jewish, has been married for 28 years, and loves the Jewish Journal. She goes on to tell me about several stories she has read.
The woman starts telling me about her husband and how in her generation it was less acceptable to marry outside of the Jewish faith. She never would of ever considered marrying someone who was not Jewish. Not because she was religious, because she’s not, but because it was just one of those things where it was assumed Jews would marry each other.
We ended up having a very interesting conversation about faith and getting married. I was enjoying our time together very much, and then she hit me with it. She has a brother. He is tall, handsome, Jewish, smart, funny, a great dancer, divorced and available. By available of course I mean he will be available, as soon as he is released from prison. Yes people, he is in prison.
He is 51, serving time for a money/tax/stealing “situation”, and will be out by the end of the year. To be honest, I did not catch the whole story. She had shown me his picture on her phone and he was so attractive, that I was already thinking about what a great story it would be for me to meet my Beshert though a reader at Whole Foods.
By the time she got to the prison part, I had already picked out my wedding dress and had to ask her to repeat herself three times. What is it exactly that makes people think I want to date a man who has been in prison? Even more curious, is what vibe am I giving out that says I will date a man who is still in prison? I never even wear orange and I just don’t get it.
There are days when my search for love is inspiring and I know if I stick with it, I will get my happy ending. Then there are days where the search is so bizarre, that I think I might be better off getting another cat and calling it a day. To the lovely woman from Whole Foods, you are a doll and I thank you so much for wanting to set me up and your brother, who sounds great.
I am convinced my Beshert is out there, looking for me, and that one day we will find each other. I always imagined that by “out there”, he was sitting in his office, searching through the ladies of JDate, and will stumble upon my profile. I never imagined he would be in prison, and find me through his sister’s random trip to Whole Foods. That said, love has no rules.
Thank you to everyone who wants to fix me up and feels invested in my search. Thanks to the Jewish Journal for being a wonderful place to work and allowing my voice to be heard. Each new day gets me closer to love. Who knew it could be as easy as getting a bus ticket to San Quentin and the ability to keep the faith.