December 16, 2012
Going to London For a Hug
I am leaving on Saturday for 2 weeks in London with my Englishman. We are taking my son and his two daughters to visit. We will be staying with his family and I am very excited. I have not been to England in fifteen years, and it is my son’s first trip to Europe. I am nervous but excited.
I am nervous about flying and meeting his family, but also because in the 10 months we have been dating we have not spent more than 3 consecutive nights together. We are not only traveling together for an extended period of time, but he is sharing his family with me.
The Englishman has two brothers in addition to his parents. I have spoken with all members of his family on the phone and I adore them. My Englishman is the oldest of three boys and the brothers are both lovely. His sister-in-law is adorable, and his nephews are delicious.
His mother calls me Darling and always takes my side when I tell her that her son cheats at cards. She tells him he is lucky to have me and it is sweet. She is a Jewish mother who loves her son and she is kind to me in a way I appreciate, being a Jewish mother myself.
Every conversation I have with his dad ends with him telling me, “God bless you”. I feel true love for his dad and I cannot wait to hug him. Having lost my own father, having a father figure in my life is something I am excited about in a way that I worry I cannot properly explain.
I love my Englishman for many reasons. I think he is handsome, smart, funny, kind, generous, and sexy. One of the sexiest things about him is how he is as a father. This man loves his children and puts them both first. He is his most attractive when he is kvelling over his daughters.
He respects them as people, loves them as a father should, and likes them because they are good people. He shows the same kindness to my son, and he is loved by both of us for it. I love the father side of my Englishman and I also love the father of my Englishman. I love him very much.
When I spoke with his dad this weekend he said he loved me. When I heard the words they caught my breath and I could hear my own father’s voice. It was a split second, but the closeness I felt to my dad through his dad was divine. To have him tell me he loved me, was very special.
Hugging this man will be a highlight of my trip because it will be as if I am hugging my own father. There is something special about a hug from your dad and I believe my dad will be there with me, in his beloved England, and he will hug me through the Englishman's dad.
It sounds odd I suppose, but the truth is that ten years Iater I am unable to wrap my head around the fact that my dad has passed away so if I can bring him back somehow through this hug, then I am going to do it. Even if it is just silliness I don't care. I am going to hug my dad through his.
I miss my dad every day and to be able to spend time with the father of the man I love is going to be great. We are building a life together and having a father in my life is something I miss. When I meet him for the first time I will hug him and hope I remember to let go at some point.
Meeting the Englishman’s family will bring me tremendous joy and I cannot wait to take him and his daughters to Canada to meet my family. I love family and with my son and I alone in Los Angeles, merging our families has brought me fulfillment in a way that brings me inner peace.
To my Englishman, I love you. To my Englishman’s father, please know when I hug you I am going to hang on a second longer than is necessary or appropriate. I will probably cry, because that is how I roll, so don’t be scared, just know your hug allows me to keep the faith.