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November 30, 2011

Single, Happy, Hopeful & Strutting

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/i_am_single_with_no_date_in_sight_but_am_happy_hopeful_strutting_20111130/

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I am in a dating slump and frankly have no real interest in getting out of it. I had a date last week that was completely uneventful, and when I came across someone online I thought looked interesting, it turned out he was a reader of my blog and while a fan, was not brave enough to risk being written about, so he passed on a date, but wanted to be friends.

He’s sweet enough and we’ve begun emailing which is nice I suppose.  I’m not really looking for a pen pal, but he is smart and funny so maybe I can fix him up with a friend.  One never knows.  I want to share my life with someone and so I like to think that I am going to keep myself open and send out the right energy, but these days I just really don’t care that much.

By not care that much, of course I mean I really care about it.  People say when you are not looking for love is when you will find it, while others say you will never find love unless you are looking for it.  There is no right way to look for love, or rules about how love will find you.  The focus for single people should be to be happy so we are ready when it comes.

This blog is both a blessing and a curse.  A blessing because I love it and it matters to not only me, but also a curse because it really does impact how I date. Men are afraid of it when I tell them, but not telling them up front would not be cool.  If a man wanted to date me and not be written about, all he has to do is ask.  I do not write about the men who asked me not to.

There are enough things to worry about when dating without having to bring a blog into it.  In addition to the blog being a roadblock, the holiday season is coming. Hanukkah is easy because for me it’s a holiday for children, but New Year can be brutal.  I’ve never really been one to go out on New Year’s Eve, but having someone to kiss is kind of a big deal to me.

Bringing in a new year is special because it is full of hope.  Hope for love and joy not only for myself, but for my family.  I am hearing from a lot of single readers that they are starting to feel stressed about being alone for the holidays.  I feel bad when I get these letters because there is noting I can say to make them feel better, because the truth is it sucks.

I had 3 meetings yesterday.  They took up my entire day and I was exhausted when I got home.  I was running around and it was only when I settled into bed with a cup of tea and reflected on my day, that I realized something great had happened.  I met someone that got me excited about life, which is a truly powerful gift to receive.

I met a total of 8 new people during my meetings.  They were an eclectic group of characters and all will play important roles in my life in terms of both my work and my home life.  There was one person in particular however, that left me feeling inspired and hopeful.  I found myself listening and being excited about things to come, and it almost felt like a great date.

Sometimes you can meet a person who puts a little pep in your step and it’s a great thing.  I woke up this morning, worked out, put on a super cute outfit, fixed my hair and am going to have a great day.  I have been so buried under stress and work that I forget about how happy I am.  This person reminded me that life is great, I am fabulous, and I need to put happy first.

I am not going to attract happy if I am not sending out happy.  It occurred to me that meeting these people was like having a great date.  I woke up thinking about them, what they said, and looking forward to something.  I think it’s easy for women to sit and reflect about how things are not going well, but difficult for us to take the steps needed for change.

I don’t read my blogs once they are posted.  I live these stories so reading them is not necessary, and to hear people talk about my writing is sometimes difficult because I write about my life, and if they don’t agree I can take it personally.  What I discovered in my meetings yesterday is that people also take my writing personally, and that is wonderful.

I am excited about change today.  Turns out that meeting these new people was even better than a date.  I didn’t have to shave my legs, wait at a bar for a stranger, or sit though the painful interview process that is the world of dating.  I do however get to enjoy the benefits of a good date in that I am strutting today because I got my happy back.

When life is hard, being single can be sad.  When life is great, being single can be sad.  As a single woman who is looking for love, the most important thing I can do for myself is be happy.  I look forward to my next date because all great love affairs begin with a date.  If we don’t approach our dating with this hope, we risk becoming bitter.

Sadly, I have no date in my future.  Having just checked my online dating accounts, I predict it may be a while until I have a date, but it’s okay because yesterday was better than a date.  I am blessed, and the holidays will come and go whether I get a kiss or not, so I must embrace my happy self, enjoy the glow that comes with hope, and keep the faith.

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