June 10, 2011
Foreplay With Jon Stewart & Does Russell Crowe Have Penis Envy?
I love Jon Stewart. I don’t know him, but I love him. He is funny, smart, articulate, and willing to put his opinion out there in a way that I can appreciate, through comedy. I think he is handsome and I love how he loves his wife and kids. I also love The Daily Show and I can watch an episode more than once and laugh every time. Even with all this love I have for Jon, I can say, with absolute conviction, watching The Daily Show is not my idea of foreplay.
In a text message between Anthony Weiner and one of his online lady friends, they are sexting about getting together for sex and she says they can get in the mood by watching The Daily Show. Really? To clarify, when I said “lady”, I was kidding. According to Wikipedia the definition of foreplay is as follows: Foreplay is a set of intimate psychological and physically intimate acts between two or more people meant to create desire for sexual activity and sexual arousal.
I Googled foreplay and nowhere did it list watching The Daily Show as a good way to get in the mood. Poor Anthony Weiner. His life is spinning out of control and the chick he decided to sext with does not know what foreplay is. This guy has no luck. Was the chick trying to show that she had an intelligent side by saying she watched such a smart show? I’m thinking there are a lot of things this woman is, but smart is probably not on them. Poor thing.
Anthony Weiner and his penis have had a rough few days. Many have attacked him and his penis, but I’m guessing Russell Crowe is the last person he thought would be offended by his genitals. Crowe tweeted the following: Who are you to correct nature? Is it real that God requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect. (I have) many Jewish friends, I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats but stop cutting yr babies. I will always believe in God, not man’s interpretation of what God requires… Last of it, if u feel it is yr right 2 cut things off yr babies please unfollow and f**k off, I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.”
It’s a horrible tweet and Russell Crowe sounds like an asshole, but here’s the thing, it may have been taken out of context. It does not make it any better, but if you look at the entire picture, it takes a bit of the sting out. Sting might not be the right word when discussing circumcision, but whatever. The tweet is part of a series of tweets between Crowe and his good friend Eli Roth, who, not that it matters at all, happens to be a Jew. According to TMZ, the tweet was part of a Twitter conversation between the two men.
Apparently after the tweet, The Hollywood Reporter wrote that Crowe insulted Jews and our own Hollywood Jew blogger here at the Jewish Journal wrote about Crowe’s insensitivity. Eli Roth spoke with TMZ and said the Hollywood Reporter “blatantly attempts to make Russell look like an anti-Semite. It’s tabloid journalism at its worst. No one contacted either of us. It’s terrible. Russell is a great person and respectful of all religions. The press is trying to terrify celebrities into not using Twitter. They want to show they can still ruin you. It’s sickening.”
Other places are reporting an expecting dad asked Crowe his thoughts on circumcision and that is what inspired the tweet. Who knows, and frankly, who cares? Why would his opinion matter to anyone? It was a stupid thing to say, and not funny, but it’s not fair to print it out of context. I guess Crowe felt bad because he released the following statement, “I have a deep and abiding love for all people of all nationalities, I’m very sorry that I have said things on here that have caused distress. My personal beliefs aside I realize that some will interpret this debate as me mocking the rituals and traditions of others. I am very sorry.” Whatever. We all thought Crowe was an asshole before this mess so why be so quick to jump to the anti-Semite card?
Is Crowe circumcised and resents his parents for taking away the foreskin that was rightfully his? Perhaps he is not circumcised and loves his foreskin so much he is heartbroken for other men who don’t have one? His two young sons are probably not snipped so if he really hates Jews, chances are they won’t bag a Jewish chick so that must be comforting in all this mess. Russell Crowe said something idiotic. Not the first time, probably not the last. The explanation could be as simple as him having Jewish penis envy.
I have not used the word penis so much in my entire life. Anthony Weiner has made talking about the penis mainstream. That’s something to be proud of. This will eventually all go away. Not any time soon, but eventually. I wish you all a happy, healthy and fun weekend. If you have a penis, circumcised or not, or even just access to one, enjoy it. Be kind to a stranger, turn the TV off during foreplay, and spend some time keeping the faith.