October 7, 2009
Is anyone watching Flipping Out on Bravo, Tuesday nights at 10 pm? I have spent the morning trying to figure out how to write about this show and somehow tie it into my blog about being single and the only connection I could come up with is that Jeff Lewis is gay and I am in love with him which is my pattern and by pattern of course I mean I could be single because I love gay men.
I think Jeff Lewis is hilarious and I enjoy him. I would like for the two of us to hang out and I think Jenny is divine and when she turns into Deb its television perfection. It really is a well crafted sitcom that is disguised as a reality show and I could watch it all day. It is cast perfectly and should get an Emmy for comedy writing.
It begs the question, am I so nervous about trusting a man and falling in love again that I hang out with gay men so my heart is somehow protected from getting broken? Have I reached a point of such fear that I am purposely surrounding myself with men who are safe? Could I be saying I put myself out there when really I am hiding?
Nope. Not me. I am finally able to trust my ability to make good choices. I am 43 and fabulous. I have never looked or felt better. I am comfortable with who I am as a human being and according to the text books and by text books of course I mean the ladies of The View, I am in my sexual prime.
So yes, I love Jeff Lewis. That does not mean I am hiding from love but rather that I am capable of opening my heart. Being single in your 40’s is really hard. I am at a point in life where I can be free and uninhibited but at the same time I am a mother and balancing the two is more difficult than I ever imagined it would be.
I’m doing fine. Life is great, my son is great, work is great and dating is, well, it is what it is. Keep the faith.