December 14, 2009
I had a brutal weekend. I tweaked my back at yoga, my cat decided that she likes the taste of my couch, I was let down by someone that I trusted and to top it all off I had the most horrific date ever. With all the rain I should have just stayed in but instead my search for love won out.
If you took a poll of a million people from all corners of the earth and had them share their most disgusting dating experiences, I think mine would win. I went back and forth about whether or not to even talk about it because it’s truly mortifying but at the end of the day this is a singles blogs and so I must share.
I got an email on Saturday morning from an online dater who seemed like a nice guy so we decided to be spontaneous and meet for lunch. I was 5 minutes early and he was 15 minutes late. He look disheveled and appeared to be drunk. I wanted to leave but hung on because I didn’t want to be rude or judgmental.
He sat down, ordered a drink, the waitress brought it over, he took a sip, told her it was watered down, she told him she was sorry and said she would have the bartender redo it, he started yelling that she was a stupid b*&%@. I was stunned, she started to cry and I got up to leave.
I walked with her to the front, told her I was sorry, gave her $20 and headed out as the manager was asking him to leave. I handed in my valet ticket and prayed the car would come quickly. I’m waiting with the valet guy when Drunky comes out and starts begging me not to go. He tells me to come back in and that he is sorry he was rude.
I tell him I’m leaving and he tells me I’m cold and to get lost. I’m now dying and want my car. The valet guy puts his arm around me and tells me not to worry. I feel a tap on my shoulder and Drunky is there to ask if he can borrow $100. The valet guy tells him to step away and he will make sure he gets home.
I thank the valet guy, hug him, give him $20 and as I turn around to walk to the car, Drunky bends over and begins to vomit on my boots. He is now throwing up on my boots. I look at the Valet guy, he looks at me, I start crying, he calls for back up and Drunky is laughing.
They bring out pitchers of water and clean off my boots and call the cops to come help Drunky. I’m in shock, stunned by the entire exchange and Drunky is sitting on the ground telling everyone he is not drunk and that the waitress was lying about putting vodka in his drink.
I want to be in the Guinness World Book of Records for having survived this one. I find it hard to believe that anyone has had a worse date but if you have, let me know. Drunky has called to apologize but I’m not taking that call. I hope he is well, appreciate the apology and think I might change my number.
There is only place you can possibly go after a date like this. The one special place that can make it better and take the sting out, is The Cheesecake Factory. My friend Geri and I went to the Sherman Oaks Galleria location for Sunday brunch. Our waitress, Erica, was perfect. I explained I had a rough date the day before and she ran with it and could not have been better.
I asked to speak to a manager because it’s important for them to hear when things are good not just bad. The manager on duty, Mark, came over and agreed my date wins the Worse Date Ever Award and my prize was a complimentary piece of the world’s greatest cheesecake. He was fantastic and I adored them both.
The world is full of very strange people and sometimes it’s the kindness of a stranger that makes a difference. At the end of the day I will be fine, Drunky will hopefully get it together and if you need a great place to eat in the valley, you can go see Erica and Mark at the Sherman Oaks Cheesecake Factory.
Thank you to Geri for making me laugh, reminding me that tomorrow is always a new beginning and that all we need to do is keep the faith.
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