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Jewish Journal

JewishJournal.com

December 29, 2009

Dating Decency

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/dating_decency_20091229/

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When did people stop being decent to one another while dating?  I was thinking about when I started dating, before the Internet, people were decent while trying to meet someone but the fact is people were not really decent then either.  If we want to look at dating practices as decent, we need to go back to the 1950’s or earlier.

People talk about there being “rules” when it comes to dating but I think the problem here is that there are too many rules and it’s screwing everything up.  I’ve read books and seen old movies where women were actually courted and men were held in high esteem. I wish that would come back in fashion. 

Somewhere along the way men stopped respecting women and women started taking advantage of men.  I’m not talking about the entire human population so save your hate mail.  I’m just saying that both sides slacked off and stopped trying to be decent.

I know really fabulous women who have been alone for a long time because they just can’t be bothered with dating and really great men who are with women who just don’t make any sense because they can’t be bothered working for something great when something good enough can be easily found.

I bet the 1960’s were a good time to date.  There were fewer hang ups and an ability to be free with opinions and sexuality.  Now women over think and over analyze everything.  If we have sex too soon we’re sluts and if we don’t have sex right away we’re prudes.

Men seem to think that women don’t know what the difference is between 5’4” and 5’11” and believe being separated and divorced are the same thing.  Women are consumed with fear about having sex and worried about what men think about them.

If we all just relaxed things would happen organically.  Dating in our 40’s is a whole new ballgame.  We’re divorced with children so nobody is thinking we are virgins and those games need to stop.  We all need to stop lying, believe in ourselves, and not be so scared.

It’s the time of year when we make resolutions for the New Year and mine will be to be decent.  Not just in how I date, but in general.  Being nice takes no real effort and when you are kind, decency tags along for free.

Men will always lie and women will always play games but we can at least try to be decent.  All you are required to do is make an honest effort and keep the faith.

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