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August 23, 2013

Dating 101: The Great Escape

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/dating_101_the_great_escape/

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I had a date last night.  He said he was 5’10”, he was 5’7”.  He said we should meet for a drink, so we met at a local bar, but he is sober and had a coke, so I had a drink by myself.  He said he was born in Israel but raised in New York, but he has only been in the United Stated for 5 years.  He said his kids were grown, but failed to mention that the kids from his first marriage were grown, but he has an 8 year old from his second marriage. 

How is it possible that this man thinks his dating practices make sense?  He is a liar, and the lies are obvious, so he comes off looking like a total idiot. Three inches is obvious so that lie is just pathetic.  Taking a woman out for a drink when you don’t drink is just awkward.  We could have met for a walk, or a coffee, or desert.  There are so many things to do on a date that do not involve drinking, so why do something that you don’t even do?

If you are from a foreign land that has an accent when speaking English, and you have not been here that long, the accent will give away the fact that you were not raised here.  Own it instead of lying about how long you’ve been here.  To completely skip over one of your children makes you a moron.  That a man seemingly forgets to mention a child is offensive to me as a mother and I do not want to get to know you on any level. It’s just mean.

I will never get how these men think.  I say these men because this is not the first time a man has lied on a date.  I don’t think it is limited to online dating either.  If you are actually planning to meet people, then shouldn’t you try to put your best foot forward and save the lies for later?  Or, perhaps just not lie at all?  What is the appeal of lying?  One can only assume that the lies mean they are not really interested in being serious.

Here’s the thing, there are a lot of people online who will date a liar because they are liars.  People want to pretend they are someone else, so those people should pretend with each other and leave the serious people to date serious people.  An unrealistic expectation of course, but still, what the hell was he thinking?  I managed to stay on the date for 45 minutes before I made the great escape.  45 minutes was my limit on this one.

I told him I needed to go help my son who had a flat tire.  I felt bad for about it for about 10 seconds, then got over it.  My son called while I was out so I took his call, and when he hung up I kept talking to a dead line and pretended he needed me to help him.  Sorry. I thanked him for the drink, told him we were not a match, and  headed out.  He called me about an hour later to make sure all was well and asked me to go out again.

When he asked me out I had two choices.  I could tell him the truth, or become what he was, which is a liar. I opted to be myself and tell the truth. I called him out on his height, his accent, and the fact that he skipped over one of his kids.  He told me he really was 5’10” and clearly I don’t know what that looks like.  He then said his accent was not that bad, and as for his kid, he said it simply slipped his mind that his son was so young,

Really?  For the love of God. I laughed, wished him well, and wrapped it up.  I had another drink at home, and went to bed.  It was 9:30.  Ah the life of a single gal in Los Angeles.  I have another date this weekend with a man that I actually asked out.  We have spoken on the phone a few times and so we’ll see if what we spoke about is actually true.  A girl can dream.  It really makes me wonder about how it is for men who are dating.

Do women lie as much?  I cannot imagine a woman forgetting to mention one of her kids.  I understand lies about height, weight, and age, but I’m guessing men lie about those things more than women.  The accent was my fault because I did not speak to him prior to the date.  It was spontaneous and quick so there was no call.  Big mistake.  If I have talked to him I would have caught the first lie immediately and that might have helped.

Dating is not fun.  The thought of meeting someone great is fun, but the actually job of dating is lame.  I shall keep trying because if nothing else it makes for a good blog.  At some point however, it will become too much and I will opt for another cat over another date.  All I can do is pray I find a keeper before I hit the wall.  Good things come to those who wait so maybe I should just wait. Give up dating, and simply keep the faith.

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