August 7, 2013
Dating 101: Hobbits, Bears & Giants
I like men. I am raising a boy to be a man. A good man. I like men of all shapes and sizes. I have dated men who are short, tall, thin, heavyset, bearded, clean shaven, bald, and with a full head of hair. In terms of how someone looks, I tend to be attracted to bald men with blue eyes, but my heart trumps those things, and in the end I am most attracted to men who are funny, able to communicate, and share my faith.
I have dated hobbits in the past. By hobbit I mean men who are the same height, or shorter, than me. I am just shy of 5’4”. When I date a man my height we look like little people. I tend to wear flat shoes all the time because I am not a fan of being taller than my man. That’s just how I roll. I want to feel like a girl next to my partner and height plays into that. If I am in flats it’s all good, so that is what works for me.
I have dated bears in the past. By bears I mean men who are large framed. There is something quite comforting about dating a larger sized man. It makes me feel like a little peanut next to a bear. When I am dating a bear I tend to wear more dresses and play with my hair. I don’t know why. I somehow feel dainty when next to a bear. I still wear flat shoes because I like the feeling of a big strong man taking care of me.
I have dated giants in the past. By giants I mean men who are over 6”. There is something very sexy about a tall man. When I am dating someone very tall, I break out the highest heals I can manage. I will rock the stilettos for a giant. I stand taller, embrace my femininity, and feel like a lady next to a giant. I somehow feel the need to be taller with a giant. Maybe I don’t want to miss what is happening up there.
Last night I met a giant for a drink. In typical online dating fashion, he lied about his height. This lie was a little different however. He listed his height as 6’2” when he was in fact 6’7”. Now that is a giant. He said that he lies about his height because he finds he is simply too tall for a lot of women. I thought he was 6’2” so I wore heels, but I was still a little person next to him. He is the tallest man I have ever been out with.
At one point I took my shoes off to stand next to him, just to see what it would feel like and let me just say, wow. He was truly a giant and I felt a little intimidated. It felt like he could pick me up and toss me across the room, which I am not ashamed to say was kind of awesome. I’m not sure why I adjust slightly when dating hobbits, bears, or giants, but I always do, and the pattern is the same. It got me thinking about men.
Do men worry about what category women place them in? Does a short man care that he is short? Does a bear worry about his weight? Does a giant wish he didn’t have to stand up when meeting women? Women always worry about their bodies, but do men? We compare ourselves to each other, and even a woman with what one would think is a perfect body, is going to complain about something and wish it were different.
Physical attraction is important. There has got be something about the person you are dating that turns you on sexually, but is the search for that thing going to stop us from meeting the perfect partner? Can Prince Charming or the girl of your dreams be living in the body of a hobbit, giant, or bear? At what point do people let go of looks and forward on who you are? Or is that even possible in the world we live in?
I have loved a hobbit and though he was small, I have never felt safer next to a man. I was married to a giant and years after our divorce I still marvel at how tall he is, and how tiny I feel next to him. I was engaged to a bear and always got a kick out of the fact that I could stand behind him and from the front nobody could see me. There are advantages to dating all three types, dating a giant however, does provide the best shoes.
In the end we all have a certain type of person that we are attracted to, and that maters. I think the key to finding love however, lies in being able to think outside the box, or the body in this case, and open our minds to the possibility that a great love might come in a body that we were not expecting. There are no guarantees in love of course, but we can increase our chances if we open our minds and keep the faith.