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May 26, 2010

Dancing With The Stars, America Idol, Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jesse James & Three’s Company

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Kate Gosselin was on the season finale of Dancing With The Stars last night.  My eyes are still bleeding, and my stomach hurts from all the laughing.  I just don’t get this chick.  In her little interview package, she was trying to appear likeable and carefree, yet all she talked about was how controversial she is.  She is ridiculous.  That she is getting another show on TLC is mind-boggling.

When she pulled off her skirt, and started lip-syncing to “I Will Survive”, I wanted to throw something at the television.  The best part of the whole thing, was her partner Tony’s face.  When she was lifted off in the cherry picker, the look of complete relief, at seeing her leave, was exactly how we all felt. Even if you allocate 15 minutes of fame for her, and each of her kids, her time is up.  Bye Bye Kate.

There was no surprise when Nicole won the title.  Of course she won people, she’s a dancer!  I think Evan was robbed, and totally should have won.  By Evan, of course I mean Erin, because let’sf ace it, Evan is also a dancer of sorts.  Erin should have won the title.  Not because she is a star, because she’s not, but because she became a dancer before our eyes.

I have not really being paying attention to American idol this season.  I watched in the beginning, but there wasn’t anyone that was riveting enough, to keep me tuned in each week.  I’m not sure who will win tonight, and don’t really care.  That said, Simon Cowell is the best part of that show, and I will miss him when he’s gone.

I will follow him to his new show, because he is good television, and I will watch the finale of American idol tonight. Not because of the singing, but because of the farewell tributes they have planned for Simon.  Paula will be there, and I’m sure it will be fabulous.  Who they choose to replace him is irrelevant, because no one can fill his shoes.

This week’s episode of the ladies of New Jersey, was not particularly interesting.  Until the last 5 minutes.  We could talk about the car wash, strip clubs, the new baby, how sad Dina is, or the gun shop in Jacqueline’s basement.  All boring, when we can talk about how Danielle thinks she is in the mafia.

She goes to her friend Danny’s house.  Danny is a convicted felon, as is his friend Johnny.  They all start talking in innuendos and code language.  She actually thinks she is a Soprano, and it’s mortifying.  Why Bravo continues to indulge her is beyond me.  This woman needs to be in a hospital, away from her kids.

Jesse James was on Nightline last night, sharing his side of the story.  I’m wondering why in the world he thinks that we care about what he has to say.  We never cared before the scandal broke, so why would we care now?  Seriously, the best thing that Jesse James can do, is stop talking.  Someone needs to tell him silence is golden.

It’s heartbreaking that he was abused by his father.  It’s sad that underneath all his tattoos and bravado, he is a scared little boy.  It’s crushing that a marriage ended, and kids are left hurting.  All of it is upsetting.  At the end of the day however, all of it is his fault, and we don’t care.  It’s over Jesse, move on, and shut up.

I think it’s time that Three’s Company was brought back to television.  If they cast Jesse James, Danielle Staub and Kelly Bensimon, they will have a hit.  Guaranteed.  The sexual tension between Kelly and Danielle will be riveting, and even more entertaining, will be that while we watch them fall in love, Jesse will be trying to bed them both. 

Reality television is a monster.  We live in a time when anyone can get a television show, anyone can be famous, and everyone is at risk of having their lives fall apart, publicly.  A hundred years from now, people will look back at this time, and conclude that reality television ruined the world.  By a hundred years, of course I mean tomorrow.  Everyone who is on a reality show, needs to seriously keep the faith.

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