July 31, 2010
Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky Tie A Jew “Ish” Knot
I am very happy for Chelsea and her new husband Marc. I am a supporter of her parents, and I imagine they are beyond happy to celebrate the marriage of their only child. When you are blessed with only one child, it makes it easy to spoil them, because it’s all about them. The wedding is the only one they will throw, so good for them that they were able to give her a fairytale come true.
I must say, there is a tiny part of me that thinks it’s sad when a Jewish man marries a non-Jewish woman. Their children will be loved and blessed to be born into such a wonderful family, but at the end of the day, they will not be Jewish, and that is unfortunate. With each inter-faith marriage, and each generation, there are fewer Jews.
I think it’s a little odd to wear a tallit and kippah, sign a ketubah, and recite the 7 blessings, when you are marrying a person who is not Jewish. Why bother? If he can have his children not be Jewish, does it not seem like a bit of a farce that he would have such important Jewish traditions in his wedding?
I also find it interesting that in the group of released pictures, they included some of the couple with the ketubah, under the huppah, and him in his tallit. Why the need to publicize the Jewish aspects of the wedding? It’s lovely, and she looks beautiful, but she did not convert, so why push all the Jew “ish” stuff?
To be clear, while an inter-faith marriage is not ideal for me, it does not mean I don’t think it can work. It’s worked in my own family, and some of my dearest Jewish friends are married to people of other faiths. If both are willing to support the beliefs of the other, then it works, and that goes beyond religion.
My friends feel it’s important for me to be with a man of faith, and that what the faith is, does not matter. As long as he believes in a higher power, we will be able to connect and build a life together. They may be right, and it could happen, but if it’s up to me, and I get to choose, he will be a Jew. That is my dream.
It is hard to meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you are blessed to meet that person, faith and race should not matter. I am searching for love, and the older I get, the more I realize he may not be in the packaging I expect, or desire for myself. I can hope he is Jewish, but he may not be.
Love is elusive, and if you find someone you love, and he is not the same religion, or color as you are, just close your eyes and listen. If you are quiet, and pay attention, your heart will lead you. Don’t shut yourself off to love because of what you think you want. Love who you love, and remember to keep the faith.